Kelly’s Historic Deuce

DOES not being able to add up make you incapable of running a multinational organisation? Bankers basic lack of economic arithmetic might underpin their incompetence, but 2011 has been one of the best years on tour and a mathematical mistake doesn't remove the legitimacy of the ASP as an organisation, nor does it prove fundamental incompetence. It was however hilarious and hopefully opens the doors for more satire in an industry fumbling to remove its head from its rear. Kelly Slater is a drama king. He loves it when things get weird, impossible, bizarre, emotional, dramatic. Going way back to his coming out win in 1992 at the Bud Tour Pro at Lower Trestles -- where Slater went berserk and gave people a taste of all that was to come -- he has been in countless incidents where all the elements have come together to create something truly bizarre, astounding, dramatic. The Rip Curl Pro Search: Somewhere in San Francisco suited Kelly's taste perfectly. The first World Title wasn't dramatic enough but thank God, life got weird and he got to win it again, and this time: drama. Kelly Slater first won his 11th World Title by defeating Dan Ross in Heat Six of Rd 3 in perfect conditions at Ocean Beach. There was some drama in this heat as Slater had to come from behind with a few minutes left, connecting a long right directly in front of the judges' stand to pass Ross. © 2013 Lucia Griggi

Slater was carried from the edge of the water to the scaffold by two friends, as hundreds of fans thronged around him. But during the World Title presentation, Slater seemed, "lackluster", according to one of his longtime friends and new school associates. "He didn't seem into it. Wasn't dramatic enough." But then it got dramatic two days later when it was determined that a miscalculation in the ratings had given Slater the title prematurely. A giant mistake on the part of the ASP, but Kelly loved it -- inwardly -- as he was the guy who reported the mistake, and created that kind of weirdness and drama he loves. That oddness set the stage for Sunday, the 6th of November as ASP officials made a tentative call to finish Round Four of the Rip Curl Pro Search. Conditions were hanging in the balance in the morning. There was plenty of swell, but conditions were sloppy and it looked like it could go either way: offshores cleaning it up, or more winds shutting it down. As it happened, the winds went bad, and Kelly Slater paddled out against Brazilian wunderkids Miguel Pupo and Gabriel Medina in Heat Two of Rd 4. © 2013 Lucia Griggi

The surf was big, lumpy, challenging and cold but the action was hot, as all three surfers made shit look like shiny diamonds. Medina was showing some of the high performance brilliance that had won the event in France and he was leading 17 minutes into the heat. But then Slater rose to the occasion, going for a giant floater on a dump section to score a 9, and that gave him a total of 17+ points -- a lead that held as the clock ran out. So that was dramatic and weird, but then Slater showed his true colours after the final horn had been sounded. Taking off on a dumpnig right, Slater pulled into a mass of gnarl that looked like a closeout section. Everyone gave up on him - including the cameramen - and then the crowd went berserk as Slater emerged from yet another impossible, shutdown barrel. Classic Kelly Slater and even he seemed pleased as he stood at the water's edge, soaked up his for real 11th Title and bowed humbly to the crowd. Slater walked to the scaffold followed by a throng of devotees, and this time his victory speech had some spice. He is a Drama King. Words and pics, Lucia Griggi © 2013 Lucia Griggi