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Mel in Florida's Profile
Rest in Peace Andy Irons :(
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barrel beach break big wave bomb comedy fish heavy Hurricane Swell lifeboat longboard perfection pro surfer slab spray sunset surfer girl unridden wedge wildlife wipeout wreck young surfer
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(17)Bookmarked Spots
Wildwood
The Pier (Pawleys Island)
Surf City
Stuart Beach
Stockton
States Avenue
Sebastian Inlet
Reef Road
Ponce Inlet (New Smyrna)
Palm Beach
Ocean City, NJ
Lake Worth Pier
Jupiter Inlet
Juno Beach
Fripp Island
Folly Beach Pier
Bogue Pier
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Archived Comments
Meunchkkleeerrr III1002 days ago +19 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Mel, are in you in Florida still? Mel right? MEL! How is FLORIDA? Are you still in there? How is Jim Muenchklerr? Is he well? Has he done any more Meuncklerring? Excellenet work Mel!!!!
Spongerdudette1052 days ago +24 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Get down out of that damn tree!! ;)
Mel in Florida1044 days ago +17 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
HELLLLLLPPPPPPPPPP!!!! ;)
Spongerdudette1037 days ago +19 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Just hold on there...I'll call the fire brigade!!!! ;)
Coelacanth1247 days ago +21 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Knock knock
Mel in Florida1242 days ago +23 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
who's there??
Coelacanth1242 days ago +19 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
It's been(almost)a week!!!...I need(ed) a question!!!...Whew...Sorry...Almost brought back that nightmare of waiting for help on 'why did the squirrel fall out of the tree?' answers...But I digress...............Aardvark!
Coelacanth1238 days ago +12 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
=,^(
Mel in Florida1236 days ago +14 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
aghh lol sorry I haven't been online in awhile :P answer: because his nits droppedf ?
Coelacanth1231 days ago +12 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Sniff(sigh, sigh again)...The answer to the knock knock joke...not the 'Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree?' waiting trauma example...AFTER you were supposed to say "Aardvark who?"...was "Aardvark a mile...just to see you smile."...Not any more missy!!! A hundred feet maybe. Well OK...a hundred and twenty five.
psalm 77:19a1175 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
orange
Coelacanth1173 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
good luck, buddy. I think she's...'on tour'...
Mel in Florida1169 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
no no no! I'm here! lol sorry :(
Spongerdudette1266 days ago +1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Q. Why was the blond staring at a orange juice carton? A. Because it said CONCENTRATE!
Mel in Florida1259 days ago +3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hahaha yes :)) here's a joke, Q. How do you make a blond laugh on Saturday? A. Tell her a joke on Wednesday. lol although I really shouldn't be using that joke because I was a week late replying to your last joke.. haha sorry bout that! :)
Spongerdudette1258 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
Lol :)
Spongerdudette1275 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Two young boys go into a chemist's and picks up a box of tampax, and takes it to the counter. The assistant says to the older of the two boys ''how old are you?. ''I'm eight'' he replies. So the assistant asks ''do you know how these are used?''. The boy replies ''not exactly, but they're not for me but they are for him, he's my brother and he's only four. We saw the ad on tv and it said that with these you'll be able to swim and a ride a bike and he can't do neither!''.
Mel in Florida1272 days ago +2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
oh god!!!! LOL thats a bit disturbing hahaha
Spongerdudette1272 days ago +2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Lol, I know. Goodness knows what they thought they had to do with it ;)
PegLegGreg1275 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
KWANSU DUDETTE!
Spongerdudette1275 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
Ya what?
Mel in Florida1272 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
lol is that swahili?
Spongerdudette1272 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
I think that he(?) is on about a surf ninja film!
Mel in Florida1271 days ago +1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hahaha 'you have a lot to learn young grasshoppers'
Spongerdudette1279 days ago +2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
A man sees an advert in a pet shop window saying ''For sale, a talking centipede £5,000''. So he goes into the shop, buys the centipede and takes it home in a small box. After about half an hour he lifts the lid of the box and asks the it if it would like to go for a pint or two but the centipede doesn't answer. Raising his voice he repeats his question but still gets no reply. Now the man is angry and thinks that he's been had by the pet shop owner. So he then shouts the question at which the centipede sticks his head out of the box and says ''I heard you the first time dickhead and I was just putting my fuckin shoes on''.
Mel in Florida1278 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
hahaha maybe the man should've asked if the centipede needed help :)
Spongerdudette1305 days ago +3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I lol'ed big time at your comment to Moosey. I just didn't expect that somehow but it is class...nice one girlie :)
dangalow1305 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
"Fuck with the bull, you get the horns?" I've been to Pampalona and I'd say it's true...he also loves to bug SD with his no punch liners, but never thought I would read a smack like that from Mel..Hi 5er gangsta, and keep on with those jabs...moose is a toolbag, that thinks he has some hacking knowledge that he dorks about on here to try to act as if he was Julian Assange or something...
Spongerdudette1315 days ago +2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Don't know about you but I'm getting fed up seeing that girl's backside for that ad on the left hand side of the page. My screen now looks weird because I stuck a piece of paper that side so that I don't have to look at it anymore!
Coelacanth1314 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Leg-Obscurer?
Spongerdudette1314 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Not this time Coelocanth, although you'll be amazed at what I can do with my legs hahahahahaha ;)
Coelacanth1314 days ago -9 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Sigh...That was a play on Veep's famous Neg-Obscurer contraption.
Spongerdudette1314 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
Oh...right...didn't even think about that!
Mel in Florida1313 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
LOL I haven't seen that AD, but I don't blame you for stickin that piece of paper to your computer! hahahahaha Now if we could just change the ad to that pic of Kelly running across his lawn ;)
Spongerdudette1312 days ago +1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Wouldn't go that far by smashing your screen Pootie (see what I done there..yeah?), as paper will do. But some men in pink shirts can actually look quite cool, so you keep wearing them. And yeah you're right Mel that would be better than that girl's backside.
Coelacanth1312 days ago -9 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Oh...NOW I see. We're on Mel's profile page. The clown prince didn't want to remind our delicate, critter-lovin' Elly May of his pencha`nt(stoopid keyboard)for grabbing his yapper-whapper 4 iron at the slightest annoyance...animate or not.
Mel in Florida1309 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
ummmm pooty tang!
Coelacanth1318 days ago +1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Mel...Have you seen Sqirl's Afro-Disco-Inferno Squirrel yet? You really should. He posted it just for you.;-)
tjo1319 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
i think we're gonna get some waves tomorrow mel!! fingers crossed :^ )
Coelacanth1323 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Another Classic from you Mel with the smiling beer foam comment. I was gonna share this link with VP since he has a thing for librarians(Don't ask me)...but he's gone incommunicado...and he's really starting to become more trouble than he's worth(Nothing but the sound of crickets from him anymore)=0...so I'll share it with you instead. This movie was a little before your time...but you still might have already seen it. "Party Girl"...with Parker Posey...one of my MOST favorite actresses. Love her! She's been in a lot of classic/cult/independant flics. "Dazed And Confused", "Mall Rats", etc. Been a while since I've seen it. It's a bit dark in places as I recall(substance abuse/partying)but I think there's supposed to be a message in it. Here's the clips where she gets a job as a librarian...which puts a damper on her wild, partyin' ways...what I was gonna share with Veeps...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzbDdgWiaS0&NR=1...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufltS3vpJoQ&NR=1
Coelacanth1323 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Here she is much more recently on Craig Ferguson's late night talk show. They both are favorites of mine...so finding this clip was areal treat for me. Hope you like it too...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DB-wTnvS6A&feature=related
Mel in Florida1322 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
haha she's funny :), thanks for sharing with me! :D
Spongerdudette1324 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
This guy goes up to a bar located at the top of the Empire State Building in New York. It looks like a nice place, and he takes a seat at the bar. "This is a nice place. I've never been here before," he says to the guy next to him. "Oh, really?" the other replies. "It is a nice place. It's also a very special bar." "Why is that?" the first guy asks. "Well, do you see that painting on the far wall? That's an original Van Gogh, and this stool I'm sitting on was on the Titanic." "That's amazing!" says the first guy. "Not only that, but you see that window over there, fourth from the right? Well, the wind does strange things outside that window. If you jump out you'll fall about 50 feet before the wind catches you and you're pushed back up." "No way! That's impossible," the guy scoffs. "Not at all. Take a look at this," the other man replies. And with that he walks over to the window and opens it. He climbs over the sill and falls out. He drops 10... 20... 30... 40...50 feet, comes to a stop and whoosh -- he comes right back up and sails back through the window. "See? It's fun. You should try it," he says. "Try it? I don't even believe I saw it!" the first man shouts. "It's easy. Watch, I'll do it again." And with that, he falls out the window again. He drops 10... 20... 30... 40... 50 feet, comes to a stop and whoosh, he comes right back up and sails back through the window. "Give it a try. It's a blast," he says. "Well, what the heck, I'll give it a try," the first man says, and proceeds to fall out the window. He falls 10... 20... 30... 40... 50...60...70...80...90... 100 feet and splat, he ends up on the pavement. After watching this, the second guy casually closes the window, heads back to the bar and orders another a drink. The bartender arrives with the drink and says, "You know, Superman you're a real jerk when you're drunk."
Spongerdudette1324 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
An airline captain was helping a new blond flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and phoned her to see if there was anything wrong. She answered the phone crying, and said, "I can't get out of the room!" "You can't get out of your room, why not?" asked the Captain. The blond replied "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed. "One is the bathroom, one is the closet and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
I love beef curtains me !!1324 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
howdy mel :-)
Mel in Florida1324 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hey thur beefy!
Spongerdudette1327 days ago +3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Who is Jack Schitt you ask? The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says " you don't know jack schitt." Now you can intellectually handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O Schitt, the owner of Kneedeep N. Schitt, Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' wishes, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Mr. Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout their childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd, and Horse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son left home to tour the world, and recently returned from Italy with his new bride, Pisa Schitt. So now when someone says, "you don't know Jack Schitt", you can correct them.
Mel in Florida1327 days ago -8 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
lol Dudette, that was very confusing. So when someone asks me "who is Jack schit?" I most definitely cannot correct them. :) haha
Spongerdudette1326 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Haha, I know what you mean. I had to read it about 60 zillion times (okay slight exaggeration there). But it just amused me how all the different ways people use the word sh*t was put into this.
Spongerdudette1328 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
A class of young children had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting that had happened and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher called each of them in turn to the front of the class. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude but eventually his turn came. Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk made a small white dot on the blackboard and then sat back down. Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report, so she asked him just what that was. "It's a period," said Johnnie. "Well I can see that" she said, "But what is so exciting about a period." "Damned if I know," replied Johnnie. "But this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mummy fainted and the man next door shot himself."
Mel in Florida1327 days ago -8 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
poor johnnie's sister. So now her parents are useless and her bf is dead :/
Spongerdudette1328 days ago +5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Steve walks into the toilets in an airport, and goes up to a urinal. A man with no arms comes up to him and says "Hey, can you give me a hand?". Though he feels very uncomfortable he agrees to help. He unzips the man's trousers, takes a deep breath and reaches in and takes out his d*ck, which he is horrified to discover is all green and moldy. Imagining the bonus he will get come judgment day, he continues to hold the man's moldy unit as he urinates, gives it a shake, and zips it back up in his trousers. "Hey, thanks a lot." The man says. "No problem. But there is one thing I have to know, what is wrong with your Johnson?" replies Steve. The man then pulls his arms out into his jacket sleeves and says "I don't know, but I'm sure as hell ain't gonna touch it!"
Mel in Florida1327 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
ewwww!! lol and neither will his wife!
soutie1337 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
babespice
Mel in Florida1337 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
clown spice ;)
soutie1336 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
grumpyoldspice
Coelacanth1344 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Hey Mel...I need your permission...& dudette's...to post my C&P'd copy of Andrew1828's ugly comment about you and the dudette in a 'tjo' started thread on Mantis' page to show why I stepped in and asked Ed to vaporize him...and why he did so quickly! I'll delete it as soon as Mantis has read it and sees why 'we' did that. I am now being criticized and negged...maybe with good reason...for sounding like I am bothering MSW admin with complaints about other multi-profilers. If you don't want me to do that, I will completely understand and let it drop. Same goes for dudette. Thanks either way.;-)
Mel in Florida1344 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
it's all good! you don't need to ask my permission to quote that, but thank you for asking :P
Coelacanth1344 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Well Mantis...I keep making mistakes on MSW. Like actually caring about some other people here and being naive enough to think we were here to have fun...being into surfing an' all. One mistake I wont make anymore is caring about you...drunk or sober. Bye for good Mantis. It DOES hurt me to say that...whether you believe it or not. It doesn't anymore matter Mel...and dudette. Mantis isn't interested in my perspective. He's getting ALL the attention he's been craving...finally. If anyone else wants to see what I was talking about on Mantis' page last night...I'll post it on my page. Only by request though.
mantis1343 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I was being nice here Cloesky saying, as mel has, you dont need to ask for permission mate to do what you feel is the right thing.
Coelacanth1341 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
More selective deletion I see. Still got the original thread intact, though. Happy New Year!
mantis1341 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
yes cloesky bcs i think you misunderstood my first comment which is the same as this last one without the caps.
Coelacanth1341 days ago -7 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
OF course it is. How could I not see that. I guess I misinterpreted your meaning and attitude at the time in my disappointment over what I thought was arrogance, disrespect and disinterest in any perpective but your own at the time. I'll put it here unedited so I can study it again and clear up my confusion....mantis7 hours ago Unrated Reply LMAO! I LOVE YOU CLOESKY. the next time you need permission here is the next time i need permession to go poo. i just cant understand why VP give mel and dudesgirl kisses but he dont love me lon time and wont be number 1 boyfriend? me so howney too......
mantis1339 days ago +1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
See cloesky, the same thing. Though it wasnt 7 hours ago, it was 5 days ago if you check the time line of my uncapped comment. I am sure you did a simple typo or something. My analogy was you need as much permission to do what you feel is right as I do to go to the bathroom. None. i.e. you dont need anyones permission to do what you feel is right. I dont believe you do things out of malice. And yes, I love you man. I love your tree huggin ways. I think a lot of us do. You're a great personality to have on MSW
Mel in Florida1339 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
aww :')
mantis1338 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
yes, I know mel, I thought I was being nice also. apparently it wasnt taken that way :(
mantis1345 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
well, you're a lucky goose arent cha? And how cool is that mom of yours! Buying you ad space for your business. Cool. And I have learned something new about you. You are not just a pretty face. You also have some artists blood in you. Maybe I need one of those portraits. Santa just brought me some quiet time and a good feed at the family get together with no one fighting. He also sends me lots of work this time of the year. And thats how I fund my next expedition. A friend that I met traveling in India wants to know if I would like to meet up in Bali in Jan. She travels a lot for her job and so Santa's present to me is plenty of work so I can go to Bali. You see, everyone else is taking time off this time of the year so I grab the extra work and line my wallet. Then when things ease off, thats when I grab a break. Well, thats the plan anyway...
I love beef curtains me !!1346 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
;0 HAPPY CRIMBO MEL and all the best for your new year x ;)
mantis1346 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
haha, nope, not joggly. He's busy saving the whales and I wont say who of course but someone that speaks kind words of you. after all, you're our sweet Mel. And while we are on the subject, what did santana bring you? New stick? wet suit? wake board? skirt? shoes? purse? gun? weegie board????
mantis1346 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
Merry Christmas Mel. I almost forgot but fortunately someone jogged my mem banks (cheers). And have a fun yet safe New Years sweetness
dangalow1346 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
As my hair do starts to 'salad bowl' I wanted to let you know to enjoy ur holidays and don't get wasted under mistletoes !!!!
the vanity project1347 days ago +3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
have a good one hot stuff, x
mantis1344 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
(thats weird, VP never calls me hot stuff)
tjo1347 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
merry xmas mel!!, see you at the pier one of these days! we have a little xmas swell out there now, fingers crossed for offshores and happy holidays
Portpipe1347 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
jeekers mel! thats alot funnies on your page. have a lovely christmas
Portpipe1347 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
haha dinosaur?!?
Spongerdudette1347 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
Two blondes and a Brunette are taking a logic test. One of the questions is....''You're on a deserted island and you can bring one thing. What is it?'' The first blond answers...''My boyfriend!!'' The second blonde replys....''My cellphone!'' The Brunette says...''A boat.''
Spongerdudette1347 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
Happy Christmas :)
Sneakybadger 1347 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Phew.. by the time i had scrolled down to the bottom of your page i had forgotten who's page i was on, some blame the alcohol.. i blame the government...erm...anyway... Merry xmas Mel! Have a great one :)
chineseyes....(who you calling a muppet!!!)1350 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
happy christmas!!!
Spongerdudette1356 days ago +3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
You've gotta watch this Mel, it's sooo funny that I couldn't stop laughing. It's not what you see but what the guy is actually saying. Then after have a go yourself......it's the most annoying, frustrating but yet kind of addictive. http://www.foddy.net/Athletics.html
dangalow1350 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
I learned how to take two steps after 5 minutes of trying and laughing like Beavis and Butt-head everytime my legs broke!
dangalow1361 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Hey lady! I heard about the exposure you've been recieving over a photo your in and I just wanted to let you know that anyone trying to knock you and your ASSets(my poor pun attempt)must be a cross dresser and jealous of the twins...If I were Justin Bieber, I'd make an Avril Lavigne style song similar to that Sk8erboy song but dedicate it to you with a surf girl type of theme=)And hope that you dig boys with lesbian haircuts...Saw the photo on Coleos favs and just noticed the hour glass, so I had to look and low and behold, its MEL! I've only got one request, could you break out the body paint one day when your bored and be the Wonder Woman of MSW, we already have a Super woman;)Sorry to bring up old news, and glad to see you made it on the front!
Mel in Florida1360 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hahaha the Justin Bieber comment is soo funny :D but, I am TOTALLY into the salad-bowl haircut, avril-lavigne style boy.. girl.. boy? ....... girl? haha and thank you :)) now where to find that paint....
dangalow1359 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
The Salad Bowl! haha I use to call it the Twiki after this robot on a show called Buck Rogers http://www.r2kt.com/top20robots/buck_twiki01.jpg ...and speaking of salad, if you have no body paint around, may I suggest condiments in the fridge? Make sure to bring to room tempature or warm first though..I feel like such a perve now that the kitten in your profile pic has lost its innocence to the tiger in the other photo...and then Betty changed her profile pic posing..so....you know..I've gotta use the bathroom...
Spongerdudette1359 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Haha. You haven't seen the pic that I tried to get as my profile one Dang. I had computer problems trying to change it on here, so now instead it's my fb profile pic. It's a playboy ''model'' with Betty's head photoshopped onto it...but actually it's tastefully done! Mel has seen it ain't ya girlie and it's cool. So either have a look on fb or if the computer lets me I'll send it to you when I e-mail you later :)
Spongerdudette1359 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
...And I wonder what mel will have to say about the condiments Dang hahaha ;)
Mel in Florida1359 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
I see what you mean! Twiki, Bieber, whats the difference?! haha Dudette's profile picture is definitely a 'tiger'!!! Check out facebook! hmm I'm not to sure if I want to rub italian dressing on myself.. might get too sticky (I have a feeling someone may say something filthy about my last comment)
Spongerdudette1358 days ago +1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Hahaha. I've tried to put a comment about that in so many different ways Mel, but each time it gets smuttier.....
Spongerdudette1356 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
....And if you can't find anything in the fridge Mel, this guy might be able to help!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qO8gJ9ketk4&feature=player_embedded#!
dangalow1351 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
http://www.gorillawire.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Wonder_Woman_by_Kerong.jpg....I'd think Katsup and mustard would do?
Spongerdudette1363 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
An Australian drover walks into a bar with his pet crocodile at his side. He puts the crocodile upon to the bar, and turns to the astonished patrons saying ''I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place my manhood inside. Then the croc will close it's mouth for one minute. Then he'll open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for viewing this spectale, each of you will have to buy me a beer''. The crowd murmured they approval. The drover stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers and placed his ''credentials'' into the crocodiles's mouth. The croc closed it's mouth to the gasps of the crowd. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and smacked the crocodile really,really hard on the top of its head. The croc opened his mouth and the man removed his ''tackle'' unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered, and the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. ''I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try.'' A hush fell over the crowd, but after a while a hand went up in the back of the bar. A blonde woman timidly spoke up saying ''I'll try it - Just don't hit me so hard with the beer bottle!''
Coelacanth1363 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Hahahahaha...+1 dudette. Ya brung somethin' to the party! AGAIN(Note I did NOT say finally!)! Yeah. Tell your brother thanks for that for me!
Spongerdudette1362 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Ha yeah, it's been a while :)
Mel in Florida1362 days ago -11 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
haha yes! my favorite so far dudette :))
dangalow1361 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
That was so f*cking hilarious! I just told everyone at work and a blonde lady just replied,"Is that a blonde joke?!" HAHAHAHA!
Mel in Florida1360 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
lmfao nice!
Coelacanth1364 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Did you know that 2 of the 5(?)Spice Girls have 'Mel' as their real first names? I somehow did NOT...until today. What 'Spice Girl' name shall we give you...Mel?...Hmmmmmm.....
Coelacanth1364 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
...Tabasco Spice!...
Coelacanth1363 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
...Don't like the 'hot' reference huh? OK, how 'bout...Hominy Spice...like harmony(singing)...but also like grits(hillbilly food)...Sorry=0
Mel in Florida1362 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
haha yes i knew that :P when I was little, I used to play 'spice girls' with my friends... I was always scary spice (she's my favorite) lol
soutie1359 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
it would have to be MelInFlorida Spice
Coelacanth1357 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
THAT'S Scary.
Spongerdudette1365 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Whats the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?......Snowballs!
Mel in Florida1362 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hahahaha I did't see this one! its cute :)) haha love it dudette
Coelacanth1369 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Sorry Mel. I got fooled. Didn't think the twisted little twerp could be that motivated. The vermin get removed...and more just seem to arrive to replace them overnight. This Androgenous1828 twerp has apparently been on MSW for awhile...and even had some fairly decent pics submitted...but credited to others? I'm an old dog trying to learn new tricks here. Can't imagine real surfers/spongers also getting their kicks like /b/tards apparently do. It just seems like a pathetic waste to not be able to screen out these troll types more effectively. Time to get my dreaded 'free speech' lecture from Ed in my soon to follow e-mail complaint about these Androgenous vermin, I suppose.
Spongerdudette1369 days ago +1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I too was fooled by ''the other mel'' last night when I read the post and gave it a +1....sorry Mel. Although it kept going over and over in my mind as too why ''you'' would start up another profile, which then gave me serious doubts. But beware ''I will rape your mouth mkay'' is apparently still at large!!!
Spongerdudette1369 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
....And now he's gone as well....nice one Ed.
Coelacanth1369 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Because of software glitches late last night, my first two attempts to send Ed an e-mail seemed to be blocked. The third time did work...after I rebooted the computer. I edited each of the 3 e-mail versions in between these attempts...thinking only the third, improved version was being sent. Ended up all 3 versions got sent. Ed responded to the first one thusly:...'Hi (MY REAL FIRST NAME...not Coelocanth)-- thanks for bringing that to my attention the troll has been vaporised'...Ed is nice...I like Ed.;-)
Mel in Florida1368 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
haha thank you both :)
Spongerdudette1368 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I've deleted my comments off of the photo thread, so that there's not too much of a reminder of....you know ''him''. But I've got to chuckle coz with all the deletions of comments etc, it now looks like VP is having a humourous go at Coelocanth!!!!
Spongerdudette1372 days ago +2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
A doctor rings the husband of a patient and explains "your wife is here, and I'm afraid there has been a mix up with her test results so we don't know if she's got Alzheimer's or Aids". The man replies "What the hell am I suppose to do now then?" The doctor answers "I'm going to put her on the wrong bus, if she finds her way home don't sleep with her!''
Mel in Florida1372 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
haha thats terrible! :) lol, maybe she needs a new doctor!
Coelacanth1381 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
A man went to a psychiatrist. Man: "Doc, ya gotta help me. Sometimes I actually think I'm a dog. Sometimes, I find myself walking on all fours. Sometimes late at night, if I hear something outside, I start barking. Even in public, I can't walk past a lamppost without...well, you know...leaving my mark. It's getting really embarrassing" Psychiatrist: "Hmmmmmm, verrry interesting. Well then...Get on the couch!" Man: "I'm not allowed on the couch.";-)
Spongerdudette1381 days ago +4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Lol he isn't confused, as I didn't think that men were allowed on there anyway! ;)
Mel in Florida1380 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
coelocanth, your joke was funny, but Dudette may have taken this one :)
Coelacanth1363 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I'm a frayed knot!
Spongerdudette1408 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Superman is flying around and he's rather horny! He notices Wonder Woman lying in a field naked and spread eagled. He thinks ''I'm faster than a speeding bullet, I can be in and out of that so fast she'll never know what hit her''. So, he flies down does his business and in 4 seconds he's back in ...the air flying away. Wonder Woman looks up and says "What was that?" The Invisible Man says: "I don't know but my ass hurts!
Mel in Florida1404 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
oh my god! HA well... superman got more than he expected! guess those superheroes are into the kinky stuff?
I love beef curtains me !!1410 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Just playfull banter Mel ! Im sure your 100% beef curtains ;-)
Mel in Florida1408 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
oh jeez... that's pretty gross haha
Spongerdudette1418 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPlqhw8AoQI&feature=related This sums them up!!!!!!! ;)
Spongerdudette1420 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
A truck driver was driving 100 penguins to London Zoo when his truck broke down on the motorway. The driver got out of the cab and was looking at the engine when a second truck driver stopped in front of him and asked if he needed any help. The driver explained that he needed to take the penguins to the zoo asap and asked if the other man would take the penguins there. He agreed. Some hours later, the second truck driver drove past the first one, who was still waiting on the motorway for help to come. The penguins, however were still on the truck! "I thought I asked you to take those penguins to the zoo," shouted the first driver. The second replied, "I did, but I had some money left, so now we're going to the cinema."
Mel in Florida1419 days ago -7 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
lol so silly!! what's wrong? he's just treating the penguins out for a night in the town! haha :)
Spongerdudette1440 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Two blonds were sat talking in the park when a bird splattered one of them on the head. Eyeing the mess, the victim’s companion offered to go get some toilet paper from the nearby loo. ''Won’t do no good,'' said the messed-up one, ''by the time you get back, that bird will be four miles away.''
Mel in Florida1439 days ago -7 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
aw man those blonds.... ;)
insanedane071444 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
to the answer of your question about dollar bills its 1 our of 6. dont ask how, i just sent this funny question to a friend of mine. said it took her about a few days to figure that out soo yea lol!! anyways hope the swell treats u well!!!!
Mel in Florida1444 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hahaha wow! thanks for the effort for finding the answer! and gracias, the waves should be 6ft and clean soon.. yay :D have a nice day!
Coelacanth1439 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
Oh, YOU'RE the one who put this curse on us!!! 6 ft. and CLEAN!...Have a nice day!;)...It's been FOUR DAYS(at least)!!! When's it gonna get nice...& clean?...I'll settle for 3 ft!...JK =)
Coelacanth1445 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Soooo...The evidence would suggest that the candy colored clown DID knock(knock)off the dep-uty!!!...AND the sheriff.=0
Mel in Florida1445 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
oh no! hahahaha
Mel in Florida1451 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
So a priest walks into a bar and says "ouch"...
Spongerdudette1450 days ago +1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Hahaha :)
Spongerdudette1455 days ago +2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Paddy says to Mick ''I don't want to work today so I'll get the boss to send me home''. So he starts running around shouting ''I'm a lightbulb, I'm a lightbulb''. The boss comes over and says ''Paddy you've gone crazy...go home''. Mick thinks to himself ''that was easy, I'm gonna try that'' So he starts putting his tools away. The boss comes up to Mick and says ''What are you doing Mick??''. Mick says ''I'm not working in the dark''.
Spongerdudette1455 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours? A: Write ''Please turn over'' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Mel in Florida1453 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I did that to someone once.. They actually turned the paper over about 4-5 times HAHA
Spongerdudette1453 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Hahaha would of loved to have seen that ;)
Coelacanth1453 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Portpipe said he would like to meet her.=0
Mel in Florida1452 days ago +2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
rawr ;)
Portpipe1449 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
could you imagine the fun i'd have
Spongerdudette1449 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
Endless Portpipe, endless lol ;)
Spongerdudette1455 days ago +2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Two blondes are stuck in an lift. The first blonde starts shouting ''help, help''. Then the second one says ''Wait a minute, we gotta shout together!''. The first one replys ''yeah you are right.... TOGETHER! TOGETHER!''
Mel in Florida1453 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
oh lord.. lol!
Spongerdudette1455 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Why did the blonde tip toe past the medicine cabiniet? She didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills.
Mel in Florida1453 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
lol how considerate!
Caswellsurfer1464 days ago +1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
+1's added =D Looks like things are starting to return to normal once again! WE WON! haha.. the Legion has its 1st victory!! +1+1
Mel in Florida1464 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
yess! the MSW team over rules!
Spongerdudette1463 days ago +5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Good work Mel :)
Mel in Florida1463 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Dudette, without you, we wouldn't have been able to get this figured out!
Portpipe1467 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for the fresh prints
Portpipe1467 days ago +4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Gary Glitter is currently en route to chile, apparently the news of 33 trapped and helpless minors was just too tempting to ignore
Mel in Florida1467 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
nice port pipe!
soutie1462 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
with a heat seeking missile
Spongerdudette1470 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Two dwarfs decide to treat themselves to a vacation in Las Vegas. At the hotel bar they're dazzled by two women, and end up taking them to their separate rooms. The first dwarf is disappointed, because he's unable to reach a certain physical state that would enable him to join with his date. His depression is enhanced by the fact that from the next room he hears cries of ONE, TWO, THREE...HUH! all night long. In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, ''How did it go?'' The first whispers back, ''It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn't get an erection''. The second dwarf shook his head. ''You think that's embarrassing? I couldn't even get on the bed!''
Mel in Florida1468 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I'm not sure if you've ever heard of Hulett Pest Control, but my mom knew the two little men who founded this service (one of them passed away). Anyway, a long time ago they told her a weird story about how one of them was in the hospital, and had to get undressed behind a curtain. Since the curtain was a foot and a half above the ground, and he is a dwarf, his junk was exposed to everyone on the other side of the curtain. lol
soutie1468 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
yeah yeah, the Hulet Pest control.
soutie1468 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
i am picturing 2 dwarves with fly swats (the old ones with the metal grid screen thinggy), running around swatting roaches. talk about height advantaged. looks like some juicy swell on its way. happy days, summer crowds gonesky.
Spongerdudette1468 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Haha. Nah haven't heard of that company, but did the guy realise that his ''bits'' were on show? lol.
Coelacanth1467 days ago +2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
These are the guys. The Rice brothers, Greg and John(R.I.P.)...Went to UCF in Orlando same time frame as me...Star Trek Spoof...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_Ogiw-ryo8&NR=1
Coelacanth1467 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
And just for the record...I never saw either one's 'junk'...but I heard a rumour back then that one of them was...'freaky'.
Spongerdudette1470 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
One evening a drunk walks into a bar, sits down and happens to notice a 12" tall man standing on the bar. Astonished, the man asks the guy next to him; "What the hell is that?" The guy next to him replies "He's a pianist!", to which the drunk replied "Bullsh*t, your pulling my leg". So the guy next to him picks up the 12" man, grabs some books, and props the little man up to the piano. Sure enough, this little man started hammering out all the favorite tunes of the bars' patrons. Stunned, the drunk asks "That little guy is cool, where the hell did you get him"? The fella told the drunk how he had found a genie bottle out in the alley, rubbed it until a genie appeared, and was granted one wish. All of a sudden the drunk runs out of the bars backdoor, finds the bottle and starts rubbing it, and a genie pops out and grants him one wish. In a slur, the drunk asks "I wish for a million bucks". Immediately the sky turns black and a million ducks come flying overhead shitting all over him. Angrily, the drunk runs back inside, slams the door and begins cursing "You son of a bitch, I found that genie bottle and wished for a million bucks and all of a sudden there are a million ducks shitting all over my new suit." The fella started laughing and wildly exclaimed "You don't really think I wished for a 12" pianist do you?"
Mel in Florida1470 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
hahaha! nice! I gotta remember that one :D
Tequila Sunrise1471 days ago +2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Mel your profile crack gives new meaning to the business of money laundering. Eeeeish.
Mel in Florida1471 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hahaha its true though..
Get Joggly1473 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiFWZ8MC2cE
Spongerdudette1473 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Hahahaha love the ending!!
Mel in Florida1473 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
aww that scared me for a moment! haha :D
sqirl1477 days ago +2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I can account for 12 of those dollars. ....the strip club was the dirty joker on king street in north charleston ....the stripper was named Lola and she had an eye patch and a c-section scar! I tried not to tip her but her pewb lice pick pocketed me and i was too scared to try and get my money back! I havent been to a strip club since!!
Mel in Florida1477 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I'm sorry this happened to you sqirl. pick pocketing pewb lice are such rascals aren't they?
dangalow1476 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
The key is to tip them with coins....the quaters are to heavy for them to pick up....unless Lola does that vacuum trick....
Spongerdudette1478 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb?......None thats a hardware problem! Sorry Sneaky lol ;p
Mel in Florida1478 days ago +3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
nice! hahaha and very true! :D
Spongerdudette1478 days ago -8 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
What did the stamp say to the envelope.....''stick with me man and we'll go places!''
Mel in Florida1478 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
what a wise stamp! haha
sqirl1477 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
alternate punch line: if you LICK me...I will LICK you! : P
Spongerdudette1477 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Hahahaha that's a better punchline then mine Sqirl!
Spongerdudette1478 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Micky Mouse is in the divorce courts, and the judge turns to Micky and says ''so you want to divorce your wife because she is weird?'' Micky looks at the judge and replies ''No I said that she is f*%king Goofy''
Mel in Florida1478 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
lmao I guess Mickey is only into the ladies ;)
Coelacanth1478 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
? at Mel's response. I don't get that. I get the joke though. Good one! ;) Yeah!!! Soutie's back!!!!
Coelacanth1478 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Ohhhhh!...Mel, I'm shocked! Are you suggesting it's acceptable for Disney characters to be 'into' menage'atois?(Did I spell that correctly Soutie?)
Spongerdudette1477 days ago +1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Have a look at comments below at 142 days ago, started with a joke and then went into...ahem...let's say ''adult humour''! ;)
Coelacanth1477 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I was sure that clue would help explain what Mel meant dudette...but I'm still not gettin' it. Menage a Trois(sp?) non? I'm feelin' like Mr. Pitt again!!!(That's a Seinfeld reference)
Coelacanth1477 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
It's OK...This only adds more mystery to what has become "The Cult Of Mel".=)...I may ponder her 'Mickey mystery statement' for days.
Mel in Florida1476 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
yep! only girls understand... i guess lol
Coelacanth1475 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Not necessarily!...After giving it a rest and starting fresh, I have finally realized what YOU meant...I think. A Disney version of "The Crying Game", is it? Not sure the joke actually meant that...but I like your take on it...and your response!=) You DO see things differently don't you?
soutie1473 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
i think its manaje a twa
Coelacanth1473 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Well, this is what I get for believing a cunning linguist like yourself Scoob Diddly Cube...I ended up listening to...ugh...rap music!...Menaje Twa...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnLWr3WaAJk...This is kinda like the non-existant pasty atrocity...for me!
soutie1471 days ago +2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hahaha, how wrong is that ? i didnt know they existed. itstrue boss.
Coelacanth1480 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Hi Mel...I know how much you like dumb blond jokes...so when I saw this video I saved it for you(Notice I DIDN'T say "thought of you"!)...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHX2mvFVQMs&NR=1...Oh, btw...looks like a new, small(slightly bigger to the north)swell may reach Jupiter by Monday and even maybe last a few days.
Spongerdudette1480 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Haha...class :)
Mel in Florida1479 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
thank you for sharing this video! good thing the blond caught her mistake :)
Mel in Florida1479 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I'm excited for the mini swell haha!
Coelacanth1475 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I was...I'm not anymore...not since early Monday morning...Too much mini...not enough swell...pffft! What else is new? Stoopid Atlantic Ocean!
soutie1470 days ago +3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
there is a mini swell in my pants, but i dont see anyone getting excited about that.
soutie1500 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat into the water?
Coelacanth1500 days ago +1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
This isn't like your Postman Pat riddle is it?...OK, I'll bite: (1)Because they first asked themselves "What would J.C.* do?" and that's what he always did...(2)What else are they going to fall into from a boat?.....* = Jacques Cousteau.
Spongerdudette1500 days ago +1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Think you could be right on all three Coelocanth lol ;)
Toad1500 days ago +4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
...because if they fell forwards, then they'd land in the boat...?
Spongerdudette1500 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Lol Toad.
Mel in Florida1499 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I think Toads got this one
Toad1499 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
8) do I get a prize?
Mel in Florida1499 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
yep! another 1up!!
soutie1499 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
yes toad, because i like the cut of your jib, you win a free discount on your COS (fucken expensive, but worth it) membership fees, say 9 1/2 percent..
soutie1499 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
and dont feel left out, Spongerdudette, you get a free trial period, say 9 1/2 inches, i mean weeks.
Toad1498 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I like free discounts :) The last discount I got was for 5% but I had to pay an extra 15% to get it... Nevertheless, a discount is a discount so I was happy :) What does my membership contain and where do I sign?
Spongerdudette1498 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
That'll do me Soutie ;)
Coelacanth1498 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
Dohhhh!...I never win anything. There's probably no officially recognized, EU approved answer to that riddle either!
Toad1498 days ago -7 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
...as long as the diver wears an EU approved high-vis vest and hard hat, fills out a suitable risk assessment, has all the necessary training (with certificates), has a banksman because he's going backwards, and he can prove that there is no other feasible way to enter the water, then all will be ok...
Spongerdudette1498 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Lol Toad, that sounds about right!
sqirl1498 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
thats a shame soutie.....just another 1/2 inch...er i mean week and you could have been a porn star!
Toad1502 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
True Story: Phillip Hewitson, an elderly man, from Norwich UK, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go and turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me. Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available." George said, "Okay." He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot them." and he hung up. Within five minutes, Six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Hewitsons' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed. One of the Policemen said to Phillip, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" Phillip said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!" Don't mess with old people
Spongerdudette1502 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Hahaha love it.
Mel in Florida1501 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
true true.. they always know whats goin on
Toad1498 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I've just re-read the "true story" and found that the names aren't consistent. Call it "an almost true story, matured with time and improved with each telling..."
Spongerdudette1503 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Three women worked in the same office with the same female boss, and each day the boss left work early. One day, the women decided that when the boss left they would leave too. After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early? The brunette was thrilled to be home early, as she did a little gardening, had some playtime with her son, and went to bed early. The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before going out for dinner. The blonde was happy to get home early and surprise her husband. But when she got home, she heard a muffled noise coming from inside her bedroom. Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her boss! Gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house. The next day at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead said they planned to leave early again, and they asked the blonde if she was going to go with them. "No way," she said. "I almost got caught yesterday!"
Mel in Florida1503 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hahaha!!!! well, at least we know the blond won't ever get caught leaving work early ;) I love waking up to these jokes. too funny :))
Spongerdudette1503 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He's going through his usual run of stupid blonde jokes, when a large, blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, "I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blond jokes! What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being?" The ventriloquist looks on in amazement. "It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community," she continued, "and of reaching my full potential as a person because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large... all in the name of humor." Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize. The blonde interjects, "You stay out of this, mister, I'm talking to that little b*stard on your knee!"
Mel in Florida1503 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
LOL definitely one of the best blond jokes I've heard :D
dangalow1506 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
Dangs haha for this week: In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini Skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. . As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again she tried to make the step onto the bus only to discover she still couldn''t!. So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt. So, with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give little more slack and again was unable to make the step.. About this time the big Texan that was behind her in the line Picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus. . Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero, Screeching at him, "How dare you touch my body!! I don''t even know who you are!". At this the Texan drawled "Well ma''am normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we was friends."
Spongerdudette1506 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Haha us girlies can be sooooo naughty ;)
Toad1506 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
Chuckle chuckle :)
Mel in Florida1505 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
haha dudette ;)
Spongerdudette1509 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Jenny. "She's incredibly dumb, she does everything absolutely backwards." said one doctor. "Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of Percocet every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He nearly died on us!" The second doctor said, "That's nothing, earlier this week, I told her to give a patient an enema every 24 hours. She tried to give him 24 enemas in one hour! The guy nearly exploded!" Suddenly, they hear this blood-curdling scream from down the hall. "Oh my God!" said the first doctor, "I just realized I told Nurse Jenny to prick Mr. Smith's boil!"
sqirl1509 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hahahaha!
Mel in Florida1508 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
HA too funny! poor mr.smith!
dangalow1506 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
I know that lady!!!!!!LOL!
Spongerdudette1509 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
You've just got to watch this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jp9BSW38bXg
Mel in Florida1509 days ago +1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Holy $h!t!!!!!! When I watched this, I screamed and fell off the bed! LOL I should've seen that coming.. hahaha
Spongerdudette1509 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
Hahahaha, I really didn't expect that to happen. I knew that something would but not that. I didn't scream but a ''wtf'' come out, pushed the chair back sooo hard that I thought I was going to go backwards and land on the floor, then went into peels of nervous laughter!!!! Hahahaha.
dangalow1506 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
HAHA!!!! CRACK heads!
Toad1509 days ago +2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
A farmer named Sid was overseeing his stock in a remote moorland pasture in North Yorkshire when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced towards him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the farmer, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?" Sid looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing stock and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASApage on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the farmer and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves." "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Sid. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the back of his car. Then Sid says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" "You're a Member of Parliament for our Government", says Sid. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answered the farmer. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of pounds worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a flock of sheep.... Now give me back my dog.”
Spongerdudette1509 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
HAHAHA...''give me back me dog'' haha.
Mel in Florida1509 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
HAAAAAA nice to see everyone's jokes again! :))
sqirl1509 days ago -7 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
HAHAHAHA.....good one toad!!
dangalow1506 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
HAHA! sheep dogs! Hilarious!
Caswellsurfer1509 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Jokes you say?? ----- Two Eskimos are driving through Wales when they break down, a Welshman comes over and has a look. He says "You've blown a seal mate", the Eskimo replies "Yeah so what, you bugger sheep"
Spongerdudette1509 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
HAHAHAHA like it.
Mel in Florida1509 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
:D
Coelacanth1509 days ago +2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Hahaha Caswellsurfer +1...There was another comeback to that line in an 80's song called "Wet Dreams in the Gulf Stream". It was a (seemingly) never ending stream(no pun intended)...of bar scene/marine life puns. The alternate come back to that line in the song was"...just fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it! OK, Pal?"...Guess you had to be there...I was(the 80's I mean). Here are the lyrics:....http://en.allexperts.com/q/80s-Music/2008/1/Wet-Dreams-Gulf-Stream.htm
Caswellsurfer1509 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
haha yeah :P
Portpipe1509 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Apparently David Hasslehoff is changing his name just David Hoff because he can't be bothered with the hassle.
Spongerdudette1509 days ago +2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Lol Portpipe. We have to get Mel's joke page going again :)
Mel in Florida1509 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
LOL it's a little cheesy, but I like it!
dangalow1533 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
;) hi 5 little buddy!
surferaddiee1537 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
waves next week ! hope to see you out . peace
dangalow1539 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I'm to lazy to log in to that secret spot, the rest of the crew is, but if it's loot that has u on hold shorty, I just wanted to let u know that I achieved $5,000 off of my school loan or LOAN(S) I should say(TYPE)by writing essays for grants and scholarships...some were for only $500 bucks, but once I used the same paper twice(thank you pepsi)!!! TWICE as nice, u can do it if u really want it, and at graduation, one of my professors daughters were there, and she said she only had $10,000 left on her bill because all she did was write those damn essays...U can do it, IF u REALLY want it.....Enjoy the summer, but try to achieve what u believe, u can do it, fo sho!!!!!! Oh yeah, anyway I can twist ur arm to go medical, I promise it pays off....I only work 3 days a week:) RN's do more than wipe ass's(not that I'm one) but it's the most in demand job, and there are a million directions with that one degree..LOTS OF MONEY!!!!!!!!Please check this out..it helped me...now u....collegeboard.com and click on parents...and then scholarshipexperts.com and also collegeanswer.com....make it work..then make me a wetsuit:)Don't give up yet.....
dangalow1549 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Hey Mel! I just remembered that u graduate this year, and wanted to say congrats! I walk the stage in 45 mins, and I'm a nervous wreck! Good luck with everything!
Portpipe1551 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Two fish swim into a concrete wall... one turns to the other and says.... dam!
Spongerdudette1551 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
Lol.
Mel in Florida1551 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hahaha that one is cute :))
Coelacanth1554 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Wow...that must have been some prom. Or is this more of that disturbing, $2 dollar bill signing(and who KNOWS what else) Bruce Irons influence?
Mel in Florida1552 days ago -8 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
$2 bill, and a poster of him! noo worries, nothing else! hahahahahha
Coelacanth1555 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Hey Mel...Isn't your boyfriend starting to get jealous of Bruce Irons by now?
Spongerdudette1555 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Hahahaha I was thinking the same Coelocanth, that's every night for months now!!!!.....naughty girl lol :)
Mel in Florida1554 days ago -8 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
LOL oh, I forgot to change my status... hmmm what should it be?... I'll think of something..
Spongerdudette1554 days ago +2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I'm shocked Mel, I think that I'd better sit down to recover.....oh I already am lol ;p But you actually made a very good point...scary to think where it could of been!!!!!!
Mel in Florida1554 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I'm sorry to scare everyone like that! haha but yes, it's kinda gross when you think about it!
Spongerdudette1553 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Haha you didn't scare/worry me there Mel, as I've actually had this conversation before with someone.....note to ones self...must get out more lol ;p.
Spongerdudette1553 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Oh sh*t that sounded kind of perverted, didn't mean it to but I'm really not sure how we started ''talking'' about it ;p
Mel in Florida1552 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
haha no worries, I wasn't assuming you were being naughty.. sometimes my mind wanders off and I think about really random stuff.. for instance, the mona lisa was painted without eyebrows... and the inventor of "crayons" was actually color-blind...
Spongerdudette1565 days ago +1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Two aliens landed in an deserted area of America near an abandoned petrol station. They approached one of the gas pumps, and one of the aliens addressed it, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader." The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The alien repeated the greeting. There was no response. The alien, annoyed by what he perceived to be the gas pump's haughty attitude, drew his ray gun, and said impatiently, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. How dare you ignore us in this way! Take us to your leader, or I'll fire!" The other alien shouted to his comrade "No, you don't want to make him mad!" But before he finished his warning, the first alien fired. There was a huge explosion that blew both of them 200 meters into the desert, where they landed in a heap. When they finally regained consciousness, the one who fired turned to the other one and said, "What a ferocious creature. It damn near killed us! How did you know it was so dangerous?" The other alien answered, "If there's one thing I've learned during my travels through the galaxy...any guy who can wrap his dick around himself twice and then stick it in his own ear, is someone you shouldn't mess with!"
Spongerdudette1565 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Maria had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Maria. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you." So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest." "Don't worry, Maria," says the mother," all good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you." So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his trousers exposing his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother. "Mama, Mama, Tony took off his trousers and he's got hairy legs!" "Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you." So up she went again. When she got up there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!" "Stay here and stir the pasta," says the mother. "This is a job for Mama."
harveywallbanger1565 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
SPONGERDUDETTE takes this one
Mel in Florida1565 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
HAHAHAHA this one was really good! the alien one was funny too :D
harveywallbanger1564 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Mel's name is actually an anagram for something. Hint: Magic water recreational device...
the vanity project1564 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
lil foam ride
harveywallbanger1564 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
ooh almost but not quite it, clue 2: spin docters cover
dangalow1564 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
The Spin Doctors....? All I remember about them were the funny hats and long facial hair? Mel...puff device?????? I'm gonna go insane or relapse!
Spongerdudette1564 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Clue 3 please.
Mel in Florida1564 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
alien?
harveywallbanger1563 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Merlin flo rida... Actually that's two r's. Damn quick glanses,,
Spongerdudette1562 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
You'll do the firmen ISC...naughty girl ;p
Mel in Florida1562 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hahaha dudette :D
Mel in Florida1566 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
What did one saggy bo0b say to the other saggy bo0b? "we've got to straighten up, people think we're nuts!"
Spongerdudette1566 days ago +1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Haha...good one :)
soutie1561 days ago -7 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
i wish IrishSoutieChick would fork out for a bra
Portpipe1567 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
good to hear you're living the dream. im doing well myself, just waiting on our own bit of sunshine, its coming, i can feel it! not many new jokes these days. when i hear a good one you'll be the first to get it
Portpipe1572 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
yo mel, hows things? you've been very quiet of late!! hope you're havin fun in the sun!!
mantis1587 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
By the sounds of your prom night, you and your bf march to the beat of your own drummer. good for you doll. Sounds like you both really did have an awesome time as you mentioned. Skating to the prom in a dress made of duct tape huh? shibby
mantis1593 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
noticed on ISC's page you had your prom recently. Hope you had a great and memorable time (but not too memorable, remember your our girl still). Oh, they grow up so quickly 'sob sob'
Spongerdudette1600 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
God was just about done creating humans but he had two parts left over. He couldn't decide how to split them between Adam and Eve so he thought he might just as well ask them. He told them one of the things he had left was a thing that would allow the owner to pee while standing up. "It's a very handy thing," God told them,"and I was wondering if either one of you had a preference for it." Well, Adam jumped up and down and begged, "Oh please give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems like just the sort of thing a man should have. Please! Pleeease! Give it to me!" On and on he went like an excited little boy. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, he could have it, so God gave Adam the thing that allowed him to pee standing up. Adam was so excited he just started whizzing all over the place - first on the side of a rock, then he wrote his name in the sand, and then he tried to see if he could hit a stump ten feet away, laughing with delight all the while. God and Eve watched him with amusement and then God said to Eve, "Well, I guess you're kind of stuck with the last thing I have left." "What's it called?" asked Eve. "Brains," said God.
Mel in Florida1600 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
LOL this is true actually, I know boys that try to aim from a distance and see who can hit the "target"... oh my god.. hahahahahahaha sooo ridiculous.
dangalow1600 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I always win at that game:)
soutie1600 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
billy conolly had a good one about a bit of elbow skin left over.
Spongerdudette1600 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Somehow Dang I can imagine you trying to do pictures! lol
dangalow1600 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
A smiley face as the "O" in Bobby was here:)LOL!
Spongerdudette1600 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
You done that!!!! You're a clever boy hahahaha
Spongerdudette1600 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?....She burned her lips on the exhaust pipe.
Spongerdudette1601 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
An old lady in a nursing home is wheeling up and down the halls in her wheelchair making sounds like she's driving a car. As she's going down the corridor an old man jumps out from the doorway of his room and says, "Excuse me ma'am but you were speeding." "Can I see your driver's license?" She digs around in her handbag a little, pulls out a sweet wrapper and hands it to him. He looks at it, gives her a warning and sends her on her way. Up and down the corridors she goes again. Once again, the same old man jumps out of a room and says, "Excuse me ma'am but I saw you cross over the centre line back there." "Can I see your registration please?" She digs around in her handbag, pulls out a store receipt and hands it to him. He looks at it over, gives her another warning and sends her on her way. She zooms off again, up and down the corridors weaving all over the place. As she comes to the old man's room again he jumps out. He's stark naked and has an erection! The old lady in the wheel chair looks up and says, "Oh no-not the Breathalyzer again!"
Mel in Florida1601 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
LOL sooo dirty! hahahahahaha ewww old bj..
dangalow1600 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
LOL!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Could u imagine if someone really did try to exhale into the hole! not of a car...but realy! sorta like how the "bends" works when diving I imagine? OUCH!!!!!!
dangalow1600 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
it wouldn't be a "qwieef"...it would be "beef," when it squeezes out:)
Spongerdudette1613 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Last night....Bruce Irons.....what, where, when, how?
Mel in Florida1612 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
He was at one of the local surf shops, and he signed a two dollar bill I had with me! hahaha it was soooo rad :D
soutie1611 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
thats absolutely amazing. you have 2 dollar bills in the states. i know an astronaut, i shit you not. he is a friend of my sister in law. the thing is, he's a reprobate of note. always used to nick peoples cameras and take photies of his bum or "bits" in the bog so when they developed the pics (before digital) , well...... he hasnt gone up yet but brace yourselves ruskies, here comes the evil ginger fuck (as he's affectionaltely known)
Mel in Florida1608 days ago -7 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I'd laugh if I looked through my camera and then a super-white (tan lines are very obvious) bum showed up. Two dollar bills are rare in the U.S. now, because they stopped making them many years ago. So, thats why is so rad that I got one signed! :D
Spongerdudette1607 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Might be worth something in time.
soutie1607 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
2 dollars
Spongerdudette1607 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
If the $2 bill is so rare uummm why were you carrying one around with you?
Mel in Florida1606 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
My dad had given it to me just a couple hours before I went to the surf shop. I didn't even go to my house yet lol
Spongerdudette1606 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Haven't been home yet tut tut, naughty girl...only joking :)
Mel in Florida1605 days ago +2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
just a rebel.. as everyone knows! hahahaha just kidding :P
soutie1605 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
i laugh you have it valued and the boffin says "well, it would be worth a fortune if it wasnt scribbled on"
Spongerdudette1605 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Lol Mel, I always said that it's the quiet ones are the rebels....only kidding:) And Soutie just imagine if that really did happen lol.
Spongerdudette1614 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Watch this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a--3q4fOL5g&feature=related I just cracked up.
Dr Fargon1613 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
LOl...that was pretty funny
Dr Fargon1614 days ago +1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
This is a true story. My wife and I were driving through town one day. I was digging at a splinter in my hand and my wife said, " let me get it, you just drive" Since I had one hand on the wheel. I could only reach as far as my lap with my left hand. My wife is very near sighted and she has to get really close to see. We were stopped at a light and she's leaned way over working on the splinter. "OUCH, take it easy" I said. "Stop squirming you big baby, I'm almost done". she replied. it was a warm day and the windows were down. I looked to my left and 2 guys in a pickup truck were looking over, mouths open. I just looked at them. smiled, and gave them the thumbs up sign as we pulled away. "what's so funny?" my wife asked. "Oh nothing" I answered, "just thinking of a joke I heard the other day"
Spongerdudette1614 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
This is also true, a friend of mine was driving down a side street which came out onto one of the busiest main roads in Bristol (A38 to those who know) taking his girlfriend home after a night out. Lets say that he also had a splinter in his finger and that she was near sighted as well. Anyway just as she practically finished getting the splinter out, he lost control, put his foot down on the accelerator, didn't stop at the junction and went straight across the road, and ended up going thru a plate glass window of a car showroom....expensive night out!
Mel in Florida1613 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
oh my god. How do you explain that story to the police????
Dr Fargon1613 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Oh LORDY....splinters have always been the downfall of us men....but mine was REALLY a splinter!
soutie1609 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
i am sure it is a bit bigger than that.
Spongerdudette1620 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
When Jane initially met Tarzan of the jungle she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life she asked him how he had sex. "Tarzan not know sex," he replied. So Jane explained to him what sex was. Tarzan said, "Oh...Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree." Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothing and laid down on the ground. "Here" she said. "You must put it in here." Tarzan removed his loincloth showing Jane his considerable manhood, stepped closer and then gave her a mighty kick right in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually she managed to gasp for air and screamed "What did you do that for?" "Tarzan check for squirrel."
Dr Fargon1619 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
LOLOLOLOLOL....I raise my beer mug to ya Dudette
dangalow1619 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
LOL....Legend of Greyjoke!
Mel in Florida1619 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
LOL ohh god, I was thinking of the disney movie while reading this joke, which made it kinda weird! :O
Spongerdudette1618 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Hahahaha oh Mel just imagine it.....you taken a little kid to see what you think is a disney version of Tarzan, and then things in my joke starts to happen hahahahaha it doesn't bear thinking about ahahaha. What a shock!!! lol
Spongerdudette1618 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Hahahaha no I didn't know that, maybe coz I've never watched the film all the way thru hahahaha. It's like the film ''Grease'', every time I watch that I'm able to read more and more into what they're saying...or maybe I've just got a dirty mind!!!! But it's amazing what these film producers ''secretly'' add in....love it, what a laugh and I now understand why you thought it was a bit weird hahahaha :)
Spongerdudette1618 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
And thinking about it there are other so called childrens programmes with ''hidden'' adult humour put in them, e.g Captain Pugwash....there's a sailor called Seaman (semen) Staines. And then the show '' Magic Roundabout'' for real little kids, I can't remember properly whose who but I think that Dylan is meant to be a druggie and Florence a tom!!!!!
Spongerdudette1618 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Btw I meant that I haven't seen a Tarzan film all the way thru, but should I watch a Disney film I'm going to sit up and take notice ...so to speak lol.
Mel in Florida1618 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
haha I don't think I've heard of captain pugwash, but I know one movie that definitely has drug use: Alice in Wonderland. I just saw the cartoon a few weeks ago after not seeing it for years. She eats mushrooms and becomes giant (shrooms make her hallucinate), the caterpillar is smoking hookah, the chesher cat, etc. hahahahaha its crazy
Spongerdudette1618 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
Alice in Wonderland!!! That's another one that I've not thought of but very true Mel. Captain Pugwash is an English comic strip show for children and they're pirates that sails the seven seas in a ship called ''The Black Pig''. Not only is there Seamen Staines but ''Master Bates'' and a sailor called ''Willy''. It just goes to show how crafty and ahem ''fun loving'' these producers are, so much actually that I expect that alot of kiddies shows/films that have some form of ''adult life'' sneaked into them!
Mel in Florida1617 days ago +1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Master Bates LOL now they're just pushin it.. haha soo funny :D
Portpipe1617 days ago +1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
and then theres rainbow. i used to love that shit til it transpired that they was a bunch of gay sex fiends. who knew?
Spongerdudette1617 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Rainbow!!! That's another one that I didn't know about, I must of lived a sheltered life. But one thing for sure is that I'll never look at kids shows in the same light again.
Portpipe1617 days ago +1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
bungle the friendly rapist bear, george the little bitch boy and zippy the gimp. i rest my case http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=007tojIefng&feature=related
Spongerdudette1617 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hahahahaha bloody hell Portpipe, it's amazing what's said in these show and we were all too innocent to know!!! But I couldn't stop laughing when George (the hippo) said he only had a small twanker and Zippy looked ''down below'', that really started ne off lol.
Mel in Florida1616 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I think I saw an episode of Rainbow one time... they were talking about sharing and plucking eachother's balls and twangers, how appropriate! hahahahaha
Spongerdudette1616 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
So rainbow got across the pond? Have a look at Portpipe's link (shown above) coz this mightbe what you seen....as funny as....lol
Mel in Florida1616 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hahaha yea, that was it! oh my goodness....
soutie1606 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe. “Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun The frumious Bandersnatch!” He took his vorpal sword in hand: Long time the manxome foe he sought— So rested he by the Tumtum tree, And stood awhile in thought. And as in uffish thought he stood, The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, Came whiffling through the tulgey wood, And burbled as it came! One, two! One, two! and through and through The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head He went galumphing back. “And hast thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!” He chortled in his joy. ’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe.
Portpipe1604 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
gimmie some of what souties on
soutie1603 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
a hit of aiwl
sqirl1477 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
last night my wife let me snicker snak her bandersnatch with my jabberwoky! I had to rest my tongue by the tumtum tree for an hour before the feeling came back! ....... talk about slithy toves! after the feeling came back she made me galumph her jubjub bird!!
Spongerdudette1620 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Did you hear about the blonde that got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"
Mel in Florida1619 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
HAHAHA this one is awesome :)
Spongerdudette1620 days ago +1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? She kept throwing out all the W's.
Dr Fargon1619 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Three stewerdess, a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde, were stranded on a deserted island after their plane went down. Walking along the beach, they came across a lamp and promptly rubbed it. A genie popped out and said, "thank you, you have 3 wishes...I'll give you one each" The redhead replied, " I wish I was back home in Iowa on the family farm" POOF she was gone. The brunette answered, " I wish I was back home with my boyfriend" POOF, she also disapeared. "Let me think" said the blonde. "HMMMMM, this is hard" "Well", said the genie, "let's have it, I don't have all day" " I just can't decide" cried the blonde. I wish my 2 friends were here to help me make up my mind"
Spongerdudette1619 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Hahahaha Bet they weren't her friends anymore and I wonder what they told her to wish for....bet it wasn't pleasant lol.
Dr Fargon1627 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
As long as i'm here: This guy was on his way to work, driving a little fast when a cop came roaring out from under a bridge and pulls the man over. "In a hurry eh bud? I clocked you doing 55 in a 35 zone back there" the cop said as he pulled out his ticket book. "Give me a break" the man said, "I'm late for work" "where do you work?" asked the cop. "At the hospital" the man answered. "you a doctor?" "Not exactly, I'm a rectum strecher" the man said. "HUH?" said the cop, "explain that" "Well" said the man, "first you insert one finger, then two, then one hand, then the other. Then you go round and round until it reaches six feet in diameter" "What the hell do you do with a six foot asshole!?" asked the cop. The man lookied right at him and said, "You give him a radar gun and park him under a bridge!!"
dangalow1627 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
LOL!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! CHRIST DR.F!...well ain't that the truth!...This is a true story, driving on my way to work when I ran over a cat, 2 seconds later, the fuzz is pulling me over...the pig makes me pick the cat up and find the owner and offer to buy a new cat or be charged a fine of $350 that I don't have...so,I knock on three house doors holding a dead cat with a plastic bag from the trunk,until I finally find the owner, she opens the door and there's a million cats circling her feet...and I go"maam' is this ur cat?" and she confirms it is, so I offer her $35 bucks to go to the SPCA and adopt a cat, me covering the paper fees..after handling everything, I see the cop handcuffing her and walking her to his car...so I pull over and ask him why is he arresting her....he said,"she was selling pussy!?!"
Dr Fargon1627 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
LOLOLOLOLOLOL...geeze...where do you live?
Spongerdudette1627 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
@Doc great joke ...love it but there's many a true word spoken in jest :) @Dang I've can just picture you now going around with that cat hahahaha. Seriously I take it that it's the same over there as it is here, if you run over a cat and start to drive away and get seen doing it, you can (if the copper is in a bad mood) actually get arrested and have to go to court. But Dang I love the ending of your ''joke''...brilliant.
Mel in Florida1627 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
lmfao! I live about 10 minutes (by car) from the beach, and I live in a quiet rural/suburban area (with dirt roads, ranches, lots and lots of trees, etc..) within a four mile drive (towards town), there are at least 10 dead coons in the road.. We're having supper t-night boys! YEEEE HAWWWWWW
Dr Fargon1626 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
RACCOON TACOS!
chargenbombs241628 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
WOW, how much thought can be put into a simple comment about some tits. Sorry, I had no idea I was dealing with teenie boppers. Loosen up guys, and gals, there just tits. Try this one of for size, my wife thought it was pretty funny......does that blow your mind?? Cant wait to see what comes of that one. Good luck growing up, adulthood is pretty rough.
Spongerdudette1628 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
It took you nearly a week to come up with that one....wow. And like you say adulthood is tough so you're going to have a really big shock when you reach it aren't you Chargenbombs. Btw I still stand by my original comment that you are disrepectful. I mean what grown and mature man would made their woman read comments and/or listen to you perving over other womens bodies. Come back with what you will but I will no longer put any comment back to someone who degrades others.
Sneakybadger 1627 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
chargenbombs24, how is that funny in any way?? Sexist or not, it's not funny in the slightest. Thats the kind of bollocks those delinquent children shout from bus windows....
mantis1627 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Being a grown up must be cool. thank you chargen for your insight and for helping me make this difficult transition from pimpled face teen to MANHOOD RRRR. After my mummy drops me off at school today, I'm going to ask my teacher to SHOW US YOUR TITS. and the lunch room lady...she's hot, SHOW US YOUR TITS. And the check out girl at the supermarket I have been fantasizing about, well she's gonna get a SHOW US YOUR TITS too. And how about your wife, since she's cool with it all, tell her to SHOW US HER TITS.
dangalow1627 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
As Betty said, it is pretty weird that you go to your page and a complete stranger puts something like that from a womans point of view(bracing for fag jokes), guess it's something you would have to experience firsthand before learning from in some cases, not cute, not kewl, not the SOUL OF A SURFER.....your the first person that I meet on here from around the way(not that ur from here), and I'm disappointed that I wouldn't feel comfortable inviting you to trips down south or piggybacking(again, nothing queer;) around the way,I've been really looking forward to meeting up with someone here(again, nothing queer;)If this gives you an idea of how the community is here now, hopefully that could change...and i hope ur lady can understand Mel and dudette's point of view, even if while laughing....we're freinds here, and sure we trade shots, but none that tasteless...but I know it's part of our culture here, and others may not understand that u can actually pull skallywags here by that approach(no lie)...ahhh man, if 24 is your age, all I can say is that I should of been dead at that age myself with some of the sh*t I've done and said, so I can relate with you. Life gets sweeter the older I get, but at 24, I was a complete animal(monkey to be xact:) I could go on and on about how you represent us(yanks) in a common tone shared amongst us frequently on MSW, and it disheartens the old July 4th spirit in me when reading this with freinds internationaly....but the whole nationalist debates have never been me...locally VaB sux, we both know it, and that's that as far as the world knows about our "here"..but this is a place that allows you to see "there" here every f*cking day, every f*cking wave....enjoy the site, because "we" TRY to...one love chargenbombs24...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ou5pzKuKP8w
dangalow1627 days ago -7 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
LOL!!!!! Could we get a MSW t-shirt or hat with that! Mantis, u gotta copyright that before he does:D That'll be stuck in my head for a week now!!!!
mantis1627 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Cheers Dangalow. However you are right with your comment. And I have a feeling the uni-bomber (sneakybadger) isn't far of the mark either. Chargen reeks of school bus vinyl. And the girls simply have too much class to respond the way I do. I just get the feeling trying to explain some simple etiquette to Chargen would fall on deaf ears. But lets pretend Chargen is of marrying age for a second. Could you imagine being a fly on the wall at his house? "Hey honey, come look at this girls tits on the computer. Arent they nice? What shall I say? Oh I have an idea(wife responding to Chargen), SHOW US YOUR TITS would be appropriate"
Dr Fargon1627 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Well now I fancy myself as an aficionado of the female form, however I don't think I have ever in my five score years said "show me your tits." (using a hillbilly accent) I've seen pleanty without having to resort to such desprate tactics, especially among MSW friends. But hey, I'll show you mine but I expect at least a string of beads out of it. I apologize for my countrymans behaivor.
dangalow1627 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
LOL!!!..Sneaks is right Mantis...I was one of those deliquents screaming the same thing back in the day from the bus, but then I put down the skateboard(yes I'm stereotyping sk8ers), and jumped in the water...to be honest everyone, the Hampton Roads area is toolbag central...lots of military, and it's common, so custom here to curse as an everyday part of communication,having a mouth like a sailor, that's so bad that there is a no cursing fine at the oceanfront to increase tourism for those mother f*ckers that love to duck waves right in the line, crapping all over ur rides...see how naturaly I use motherf*ckers...can't help it? Just how we talk here, honestly....diffrent strokes for diffrent folks, and Dr.F, glad to see we're on the same page man, and nice tits...look at the pepperonies on you...u should get those pierced bro, it's what all the kids are doing nowadays!
Dr Fargon1627 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
LOL Dangalo....that was taken back in 19 (mumble mumble) Just put it up cuz I want my vollyball back. Piercings?...nah too hard to pass airport metal dectectors.
dangalow1627 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
HAHAHA...I'll miss this airhead, but she's all yours Doc, I'll float her back down stream to you! I found this bag of plastic gloves that washed up on my deserted beach....managed to create the perfect companion!...she's even let me explore alittle...I fashioned her privates...and "TITS"(chargen ears raise) by stuffing jellyfish, you know where...oh, she's so naughty..I've managed to sneak a touch here and there...gonna take this one slow though because that volleyball is just to fast for me, btw, got some left over gloves I'll send your way, pre-stuffed...
Dr Fargon1627 days ago -7 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
At least give her a rinse first, and ixnay on the jellyfish. I won't even go into why. Even if Dugette begs.
Spongerdudette1627 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Doc and Dang that was brilliant bit of ''chat'' there, I nearly fell off my chair where I was laughing soooo much :D
Mel in Florida1627 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
chargen: not to mention I just turned 18... sooo thats kinda creepy! BAH.. maybe you should stick with only asking your wife to SHOW HER TITS (because she obviously gets a kick outta it!) have a nice day. :)
Dr Fargon1626 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
make that dudette, not dugette
Dr Fargon1626 days ago -9 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Mel... At first I kinda felt sorry for chargin for the severe backlash he got for his comment. Everyone is entitled to make a mistake once in a while. I'm sure he read and is still reading the responses on your page. What puzzles me is the lack of a sincere apology or even an "oops, my bad". Come on back chargin and man up.
chargenbombs241634 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
show us your tits!!! they look nice.
dangalow1634 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
So ur in VaB chargin? U'll fit right in with the Ocean View crowd with ur pimping swaggle....try the after hours bar on military highway or Greenies on OV Ave...skallywag central...don't think Mels a skally....but if she's into nocking people out with the knockers, good luck with ur efforts...she is a FloRidian...the OJ and the women down there??!! Must have good water, balanced chemicals....or a good surgeon...?
dangalow1634 days ago +1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
and if it's nanas u crave....scroll down til' u see Irish Surf Chicks profile pic..+5
Spongerdudette1634 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
You can scroll down to see ISC's profile pic if you want but she's no longer on msw. But if it boobs and all that you wants to look at then I suggest that you go onto a porn website and see all that you want there. I've gotta to say Chargenbombs, it's ok to have a laugh and a bit of a banter but just be a bit more respectful as you now come over as a sex starved perv. And Mel I sorry for commenting on this before you had the chance to but somethings have just got to be said :)
Mel in Florida1634 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
wow chargen, you have such a way with words, you'll make some woman proud one day...
dangalow1633 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
He didn't mean show me ur tits Mel...he meant show me ur "PITS"....he wants u to raise ur arms to see if u got a hippy way to u...he likey unshaved arm pits....real turn on=)
dangalow1633 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
lol..the more I look at ur profile pic now...I can just imagine ur arm raised the way ur positioned now in it and then BLAM....jungle pit....ohh lala!
Spongerdudette1633 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
You go from bad to worst Dangalow!
dangalow1633 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
That's sounds about right Betty!...u should be use to that by now!:P but come on....that would be soooooo funny if Mel didn't flash him the bubblons but DID flash him some hairy pits!!!!!!!! I really gotta stay off that sh*t...
mantis1633 days ago +2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I am not going to preach to chargenboobs bcs lord knows I have put my foot in my mouth more than once but... statistically people that are quick to make such pervert comments are actually hiding behind such machismo bcs what really lies just below the surface is an inferiority complex arising from their confusion in their own sexual identity and sexual preference.-No charge for the couch session. That one's on the house.
dangalow1633 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
That reminds me how for example, Supremist in prison preach about no homosexuality, but yet butt f*ck each other? sorta like that Mantis? I actually CAN see what u mean now , while he says "show me ur tits," he's probably feeding the chocalate starfish...+1 mantis for shedding some light on that, completly makes sense.....!
mantis1633 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
lmao. yeah something like that Dangalow. and of course this all leads to SFD(Sexual Frustration Disorder). Another True story by Mantis-back in high school one of our mates was always going on and on about tits and nailing chicks and so on. It got kinda old bcs that was all he would talk about. Well, needless to say he turned out to be a big flamming homosexual. And not one of those "yeah he's gay but you cant tell" sorta bloke. This guy was hair, makeup, outfit and of course gay speech lisp. Case in point I guess.
mantis1633 days ago -9 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
But we cant be too hard(poor choice of wording?) on charginboobs. Just a suggestion to pull in a bit mate.
dangalow1633 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
NO WAY MAN!!! I have SFD!?! hope it doesn't mean...u know...and then, I don't know it yet....well then again, my bruised palms releive the frustration I suppose? I must not have SFD....more like SPD-sore palm disorder..:)
dangalow1633 days ago -9 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
LOL!!!!! Can't be too soft neither....
Spongerdudette1633 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Got to say Dangalow...that I was joking with you and wouldn't have you any other way :)I understand what both you and Mantis is saying but try looking at it from a female point of view (hard I know and no pun intend there) but it isn't very nice when you look on your profile page and see that a stranger has put a comment like that. I know that in these days there are meant to be equal rights and all that, but deep down us girlies still do like some respect being shown to us and treated so :)
Spongerdudette1633 days ago +1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Oh yeah, me and Mel went on a shopping trip together yesterday and purchased some heated rollers and ribbons for those ''hairy pits'', but now it looks like we're going to have to return them to the shop......Mel...MEL you still got the receipt girl!!!
Mel in Florida1633 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
but dudette, I was planning on dreading them!
Spongerdudette1633 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hahahaha Mel. Ok then but does that mean that I can put mine into pigtails!!!! hahahaah. Oh yeah I've the appointment to have tramlines shaved into our hairy legs as well...hahahahaha
Mel in Florida1632 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
we should shave shapes and designs like stars and peace signs!!
dangalow1632 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Christ, what have I done now....I just wanna puke all of a sounded:( not sexy girls...not sexy....well, maybe if this were the 80's? naw, still wanna york..xscuse me please....
mantis1632 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I agree with you Spongedudette. A little more respect is in order from Chargen. hence my remarks about Chargen being confused and to pull his head in. I know Mel is a big girl and she doesn't need me to speak for her however she does have my support and it would be a shame to loose any of the female commentators here bcs they feel harassed and there are such few of you and your perspectives are fresh. And Mel is such a sweetie. Never has a bad word. Lord knows I have said some bizarre things due to my drunken state so I dont want to be too much of a hypocrite. And I think you get more with honey than you do with vinegar so if we politely inform Chargen he has the wrong site or suggest he is sexually confused, maybe he will get a laugh but get the point
Spongerdudette1632 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I agree with what you are saying there Mantis and in most cases would probably work, so we'll wait and see if Chargenbombs actually comes back on this and see what he's got to say :) And Mel we're on the same lines there (pun intended), maybe we could start a new trend haha.
dangalow1632 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Can't beleive I just noticed the charginBOOBS part Mantis!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry, to bring that neg. vibe guys, but charginBOOBS, LOL HAHAHAHA! I completly over looked that...if Sneaks saw this, he would put "Chargin(.)(.)"
Spongerdudette1632 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Hey Dangalow I really can't beleive that you've only just noticed that :p
dangalow1631 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
me neither...I was preoccupied with this disorder I have.....
Mel in Florida1627 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
ohh jeeez, well thank you all hahaha
soutie1636 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
i deleted that one, it got a bit out of hand. i also mentioned some technology i shouldnt have, seeings i am using it to bash out a prototype vacuum cleaner in my garage. hope the cosmos doesnt implode when i fire it up.
Dr Fargon1639 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
I might as well throw one in It was a postman's last day on the job after 25 years of service. First house he was given a 2 day pass at a spa. The next house he recieved a bottle of fine Irish whiskey. The next house a woman came to the door in sexy lingere and invited him inside. She led him upstairs where they had wild uninhibited sex. After they finished. she led him downstairs and fixed him eggs, bacon, pancakes. toast and coffee. As he was finishing, he noticed 2 dollars under his saucer. " This was the greatest morning of my life but I'm curious...what's the 2 dollars for?" She replied, " OH, when I told my husband today was your last day and we should do something special for him he said..."SCREW THE MAILMAN.GIVE HIM A COUPPLE OF DOLLARS!" "Breakfast was MY idea"
Mel in Florida1639 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hahahaha was this lady blonde?
Spongerdudette1659 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
There's an old couple, both in their 70's on a sentimental holiday back to the place where they first met. They're sitting in a pub and he says to her, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the barn. You leaned against the fence and I made love to you from behind." "Yes, she says, I remember it well." she replies. "OK, he says, How about taking a stroll round there again and we can do it for old times sake?" Smiling his wife responds, "Oh Henry, you devil that sounds like a good idea''. There's a man sitting at the next table listening to all this having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, ''I've got to see this, two old timers having sex against a fence''. So he follows them. They walk haltingly along leaning on each other for support and aided by walking sticks. Finally they get to the back of the barn and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt, takes her knickers down and the old man drops his trousers. She turns around and hangs on to the fence and the old man moves in. Suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex the watching man has ever seen. They are bucking and jumping like eighteen-year-olds. This goes on for about forty minutes. She's yelling ''Ohhh God''! He's hanging on to her hips for dear life. This is the most athletic sex imaginable. Finally, they both collapse panting on the ground. The guy watching is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life that he didn't know. He starts to think about his own aged parents and wonders whether they still have sex like this. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The guy, still watching thinks, ''That was truly amazing, he was going like a train. I've got to ask him what his secret is''. As the couple pass, the guy says to them, "That was something else, you must have been shagging for about forty minutes. How do you manage it? Is there some sort of secret?" "No, there's no secret, the old man says, except fifty years ago that fucking fence wasn't electrified."
Spongerdudette1658 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
40 minutes!!!!!! All I can say to that is..........lucky bitch.
Mel in Florida1658 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
haha or "unlucky man" because maybe he's not that attracted to his wifey. lmao
dangalow1655 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
HAHAHA!!!!!!!!....hilarious
mantis1654 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
HAHAHAHA good one. best I've heard in a while
Spongerdudette1667 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
About the drunk driver Mel, he's a guy in the pub I used to work in. He was absolutely off he head, we all thought that he was getting a taxi home coz we took car keys off of him, but somehow he sneaked them back. Got into his car found steering wheel etc missing and by chance there was some police officers passing, he complainted to them and they pointed out that he was in the back seat. So the police watched him staggered into the drivers seat to put the keys into the ignition so that he could listen to some music (or so he says) and as soon as he did they arrested him for ''the intention to drive whilst under the influence of alcohol''. Don't know what happens over in the States but over here if you're drunk and put the keys into the ignition (and not turn the engine on) even to just listen to some music and have no intention of driving you'll still get done, coz the say that you just might try to drive off. The guy was going to crash out in his car and sleep it off but he got a 18 month driving ban and a £450 fine......true.
soutie1667 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
i once saw a bloke staggering around with his car key held out infront of him. wots up ? cant find my car. hey man, your dicks hanging out. looks like ive also lost my bird.
Spongerdudette1667 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
hahahaha funniest thing I've heard allday.
the vanity project1666 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I never did find my car
Mel in Florida1666 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
damn, that's an intense story... Well, I think the same rule applies here (I don't blame it), it's a good rule... I knew a few people that have died in drunk driving accidents.. VP, lol watch yoself!
Spongerdudette1666 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Totally agree with you Mel.
Spongerdudette1666 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I'm meant the drink drive thing, but I take it VP you found your bird???? :)
the vanity project1666 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
Yeah, but that bitch always tells the story differently, in her version we both lose the car but she can’t find my dick!
Spongerdudette1665 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hahahaha
soutie1669 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
what did the people sing after Postman Pat's cat died ?
Spongerdudette1669 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Errr are you going to give the answers or do we have to figure it out for ourselves!
Mel in Florida1668 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
the suspense is killing me!
soutie1667 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
we have to figure it out for ourselves!
Spongerdudette1666 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Jess??
soutie1663 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
postman pat, postman pat, postman pat ........ postman pat, postman pat, postman pat ..............postman pat, postman pat, postman pat
soutie1669 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
what did the people call Postman Pat when he was fired ?
Mel in Florida1668 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I don't know! what???
soutie1666 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Pat
Spongerdudette1666 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I somehow had a feeling that you were going to say that.
soutie1666 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
work out the one above... they used to sing "postman pat, postman pat, postman pat and his black and white cat"
soutie1671 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
2 stoned molecules are walking down the beach. paranoia sets in. "bru, i think i am looosing some electrons, like". "what ?!?! are you positive?"
Spongerdudette1670 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hahahaha
the vanity project1668 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
This joke’s funnyness can be measured in microns
soutie1667 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
very true, 400 billion microns. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSgiXGELjbc this one really kicks in at the 1.11 mark
soutie1667 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
p.s. look out for the pasty shaped galaxy. it might (is that how you spell it, as in mighty mouse ?, you know how the longer you look at a word the weirder it gets) take 3 or 4 times but it is uncanny.
the vanity project1666 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Nice work Frenchie. This one kicks in around 1:12 ;-) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrFa51JU3sM&feature=related
soutie1637 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
excellent. i dig the bemused barman. haha drinking vodka out of a cuckoo clock.
Spongerdudette1671 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success, and finally they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull and then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, put on their costume and began to give the moose love call. Before long their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough the guy in front said, "Okay, let's get out and get him." After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zip is stuck! What are we going to do?" The guy in the front says, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass but you'd better brace yourself."
Spongerdudette1675 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven. "You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes in which you can do anything you want." And with a clap of his hands the angel brought the statues to life. The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later the two statues emerged from the bushes with wide grins on their faces. "You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel winking at them. Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on it's head."
Spongerdudette1685 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? A. We don't know; it has never happened.
soutie1667 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
i have changed one once.... for a kitkat wrapper. got one good wipe out of it.
Spongerdudette1666 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
Several replies come to mind but I'd better not say them......
Didier1687 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Happy new year mel how are things your way? hope you had a good break!
Spongerdudette1689 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
A blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and detects the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies, "Yes." He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has on a ski jacket and a fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, "For best results, put on two coats."
the vanity project1689 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
She’s back! Thought they had locked you in the armadillo cage again. ;-)
surferaddiee1690 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
if you are still in fl lets suf !!
Spongerdudette1703 days ago +3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
A guy is having a drink in a very dark bar. He leans over to the big woman next to him and says: "Do you wanna hear a funny blonde joke?" The big woman replies, "Well, before you tell me that joke, you should know something. I’m blond, six feet tall, 210 pounds, and I’m a professional triathlete and bodybuilder. Also, the blond woman sitting next to me is 6" 2", weighs 220 pounds, and she is an ex-professional wrestler. And next to her is a blond who is 6’5", weighs 250 pounds, and she’s a current professional kickboxer. Now, do you still want to tell that blond joke?" The guy thinks about it a second and says, "No, not if I’m gonna have to explain it three times."
Spongerdudette1703 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
One winter morning John and his wife were listening to the radio over breakfast. They hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the Snow plows can get through. John’s wife goes out and moves her car. A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snow plows can get through.." John’s wife goes out and moves her car again. The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..." Then the power goes out. John’s wife is very upset and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don’t know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snow plow can get through?" With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to Blondes exhibit, John says, "Why don’t you just leave it in the garage this time?"
Spongerdudette1703 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
An Englishman, Irishman and a Scottish are stranded in the middle of the desert. Tired and hungry, they stumble upon a gold lamp. The English man picks it up, and rubs it down. To their shock, a purple mist appears from the nossle and a Genie appears before them. "At last, after 200 years I am finally free!" The Genie exclaims. "For releasing me from my prison, I will grant you each a wish. However, you will remain in a locked cell for 50 years with this wish." Out of nowhere, 3 cells appear in the desert. The Geneie asks the Englishman: "What is your wish?" "I want a gorgeous lady with big tits!" He remarks. "Very well." The Genie replies. With a clap of his hands, a stunning blonde appears in the first cell. The English man rushes in without a second thought. The Genie closes the cell door and locks it. He asks the Scottish man: "I want 50 years supply of whiskey!" Again, the genie claps his hands and stacks of whiskey appear in the second cell. The Scottish man is locked in the cell. The Genie asks the Irish man: "I want 50 years supply of cigarettes!" The cigarettes appear in the cell and the Irish man is then locked in. 50 years pass and the Genie returns to the cells. He opens the door to the English man’s cell. The room is full with babies and children. The English man, lying down with the beautiful woman, smiles at the Genie and thanks him for the 50 years. The Genie goes to the Scottish man’s cell. The Scottish man is on the floor - mindlessly drunk with whiskey and obviously near death after 50 years of hard drinking. The Genie opens the door to the Irish man’s cell. The Irish jumps up from the floor and says: "Have you got a light?"
Spongerdudette1703 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, face all covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats could smell the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to piss off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in. "OK, follow me", he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a huge forest. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him, tongues hanging out for blood. "Do you see that large oak tree over there?" he asked. "Yes, yes, YES!!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy. "Good" said the first bat, "Because I f*cking didn’t".
Spongerdudette1706 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had drunk far too many cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home. The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her knickers." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her ass that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, We'll never forget you!'
Spongerdudette1706 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
It was the postman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the post through all kinds of weather to the same district. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The people at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing baits. At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast, eggs, bacon, sausage, hashbrowns, toast and fresh squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a five pound note sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the money for?" "Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you." He said, "Fuck him, give him a fiver." The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."
Spongerdudette1706 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
Three men all died on Christmas day and went up to the pearly gates to get in. St Peter stopped them and said ''by right because you have all been bad you should go to hell, but seeing as it is Christmas I'll give you a chance to right your wrongs. But to do this you have to show me something that relates to Christmas''. The three men were all agreed. The first man showed St Peter a Christmas decoration....''that's fine in you go'' said St Peter. The second man showed him pine needles on his shirt....''OK you can also go in'' said St Peter. The third man waved a pair of silky womans knickers at him. ''What's that got to do with Christmas?'' asked St Peter. The man replied ''They're Carol's''
Spongerdudette1706 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Not long after a blond female driver had just passed her driving test there was a severe snow storm. Her father said to her ''if you're caught out in the snow when driving just follow the snow plough and you should be ok''. Later that day she got stuck in the snow and luckily a snow plough passed her, so remembering what her father had told her the blond followed the plough. After 45 minutes of following the plough, the driver got out of the cab and when up to the woman and asked what she was doing, she explained to him what her father had told her. ''Well'' said the snow plough driver ''I've just finished clearing the mall car park so you can follow me to the bank''
Portpipe1713 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
thanks for all the funny interesting and down right bizzare reading http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=4852043&id=590655389#/photo.php?pid=4853280&id=590655389&fbid=249303430389
mantis1718 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
have a good holiday season Mel. Thanks for putting up with me and thanks for the chuckles and snickers.
Coelacanth1729 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Hahaha...Good ones, Mel! Can't decide which one I liked more. Thanks for playing along and humoring me.;) I'm sure ISC will love what we've done on her profile page when she gets back.
Coelacanth1729 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Been waiting for 2 days for you to add your contributions. Need some more answers to why the squirrel fell out of the tree this time...on ISC's profile page. And your sound effects are needed on this photo:.... http://magicseaweed.com/photoLab/viewPhoto.php?photoId=140441
Didier1746 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
That would be a YES from me also. Although to take things a step further... Is Mel possibly the nicest person on the Internet???
Dicer1747 days ago -7 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Yes.....I'd give Mel one, is that right? Or are we just saying yes to Mel being nice? YES YES YES (Ooooooh) YES 8¬)
Mel in Florida1746 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hahahahaha I remember that convo, thank you :)
Spongerdudette1747 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Yeah I like Mel as well, nice girl.
Mel in Florida1746 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I like you too, your pretty damn rad :)
mantis1747 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
YES. YES YES YES YES YES. (we are doing a survey Mel. I know its silly but grant us some silly time)
Mel in Florida1747 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I can be silly too, wanna hear a joke? JOKE: what do you call four hispanic men in quicksand? ANSWER: quatro cinco! hahahahahahahahaha... i thought it was funny... :P
soutie1745 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
sorry, not that funny.
soutie1745 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
bloody comments going in random places again. that was for Mel, sorry... not that funny.
soutie1740 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
incidentally that joke works with the latin american pronounciation, but not in northern Spain where the c followed by an i or an e is pronounced "th", so it would have to be 4 spanish brainstormers.
Coelacanth1740 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
So...you're saying everyone in northern Spain is gay and speaks with a lisp?...THAT'S a little harsh isn't it? I wouldn't wear that clown outfit on my next trip to Mundaka if I were you. ;)
Mel in Florida1747 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
3 shark bites in my area in less than 4 days. woah! :p
Mel in Florida1747 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
wowowowowow! well thank you everyone! lmao, time for me to do the catwalk... clunk clunk clunk clunk (that clunking is for Coelocanth)
Coelacanth1747 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
"...a funny young lady and a hidden jewel!"...Is that sound of yours from a damaged skate wheel as you glide semi-gracefully down the surf-fashion show catwalk in the latest Quiksilver swimwear/beachwear attire? I'M imagining the sound of massive applause! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP!
Mel in Florida1747 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
well, it wouldn't be too graceful, I got the big scar on my leg from my not-so-graceful skating methods! hahaha
the vanity project1748 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I like Mel too but all this attention might turn her into an uppity diva. I am withholding my vote until she paints her waps blue.
the vanity project1748 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
That was my 1000th comment on this site. Feeling jubilant, changing my vote to a big YES just for you Mel. Ahhh, I’ve only been talking rubbish for on MSW for 312 days, it feels like much longer. I’m thinking of celebrating this important milestone by painting my boobytrons blue and changing my profile pic, reckon I could give ISC a run for her money. My content has had over 82,000 views so far, I could double that in a week if I got the body paint out.
Mel in Florida1747 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hahahahaha well, blue is definitely ISC's color. But, maybe purple or pink! ha.. im kidding :P
Coelacanth1748 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Of course my vote is YES. As I've said before (it now appears at great risk to my manhood points!) she is a hidden jewel. I especially like her sound effects text (ex: whoooooooosh). But she is consistantly spontaneous and NICE!
mantis1748 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hi Mel. what we all need is more people like you. Bless you heart and your lovely take on things. It doesn't go unnoticed. Hope to See more of your comments xxx
soutie1748 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
i'm like her.
Coelacanth1748 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Does she know about your penchant for addressing cute little furry lapdogs (what you might call yappers!) with a four iron?
soutie1748 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hahahaha, it was a five i am sure.
Coelacanth1766 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
There was some light(10+ mph)SE wind early this AM...which put a side bump on the incoming north swell...The same condition persisted all day. There were sometimes long waits betweem decent sets/swells...which was kinda frustrating...but the size and power of some of the waves at Stuart Beach today made it worth the wait! Some were slightly overhead and hard to outrun. I would have liked bigger stuff but am satisfied with what we got. I DID get some really fun rides. It wasn't crowded either...don't know why. Should be similar size Sunday...but cleaner... with little or no wind. I checked the Jupiter Inlet beach cam just now...and the slide show of pics down there today shows a very small swell. How was it at the Juno Pier?
Coelacanth1767 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Are you ready for the north swell predicted for tomorrow (Saturday)? It will have a lot of east (directional) angle to it...from what I've seen on the buoys...but it should make it down south to at least Jupiter before the Bahamas block it. Most of the bigger stuff is bypassing us and heading for the Bahamas and Puerto Rico. It has already showed up on the NE Bahama buoy 600 miles due east of Stuart. http://www.ndbc.noaa.gov/station_page.php?station=41047 Notice the sudden appearance of long period north swells around 3-4 PM today...heading south. We'll get the smaller, more easterly swells that 'refract' away from those. Hope you get some. ;)
zwoop1772 days ago +2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
yeah!
Coelacanth1815 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Hi Mel...Did todays north swell make it down to Juno? It was waist to head high this AM at Stuart w. offshore wind and a good north angle to the swell. Lot's of fun...but eventually it shut down with the higher tide. A little crowded too...but that's weekends for ya. Sometimes a long wait for the bigger waves. Sunday should have something to offer too...but only near low tide...8-9 AM.
surferaddiee1816 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
hope to see you out some time ,keep surfing..
Coelacanth1825 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Jamaican any rice crispy treats today? Btw...There's a new (small) north swell today and it's calling my name. It might just make it to Juno. :)
Meunchkkleeerrr III1825 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
mell in hell, i was inspired by your honest profile description, do you like mine? hahaha
mantis1831 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Al Merrick. good stick doll
the vanity project1831 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Mel is not a “stick doll”, she has curves in all the right places.
Coelacanth1827 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Hahaha...MPD...Love it! Let's all camp on Mel's page for awhile. Hossegor girl is soooo yesterday. And ISC will be soooo jealous.
Mel in Florida1826 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
haha you guys are too much! thanks for visiting! lol :)
Coelacanth1826 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Uh oh!...Actually that gaellic speak is a bigger turn on than legalese...not that I understand either one! If my earlier reply in this thread makes you think that I am or sound 'disingenuous', then I have accomplished two goals: 1) to provoke a reaction from you...while I gaze at that wonderful profile pic of yours and try NOT to drool...and 2) disingenuous is exactly the tone I'm goin' for most of the time. You really have nothing to be jealous of in the 'Women's Charms' Dept...if I may be serious for one tiny moment...OK that's over...(besides Kathleen Turner is as old as I am now...eeewww!!!). As for solictor Muenchklerr...all his energy lately seems to be focused on his real life's passion. Not 'The Law'; not surfing; ART! Have you seen his latest 'masterpiece'...done for me at my request? I want to tell him that the Labrador Retriever looks more like a rat terrier...but I don't have Veep's cruel streak! Please don't let him know what I said. I think I'd rather represent myself. As for evidence of jealousy (re: Hossegor surf chick photo)...harrrumph: Item 1; ISC(7 Days ago)"Her ass looks photo-shopped! ha ha"...Item 2; ISC(7 Days ago)"I'm serious and I'm probably right since I can be objective and look at the photo without slipping off my chair-her ass is photo-shopped!" Little disingenous there yerself. First your kidding(..."ha ha")...then you're serious (no "ha ha"). Which is it? Given all that..I will perform an about face and hereby apologize and take back what I said...I throw myself on the mercy of this court. ISC...I've been bad..and need to be spanked. Will you wear that supergirl outfit when you do it?
Mel in Florida1825 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Satta :)
Coelacanth1825 days ago -10 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Is that bad, too, Mel? I have no idea what most text speak means. I'm just hoping the smiley face is a good thing. Btw...you REALLY missed it at Stuart Beach both past weekends...but especially this past Friday(T.S. Danny swell). Soooo good! Surfed 'til dark.
Mel in Florida1825 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
haha no "satta" is a Jamaican word for calm down; relax; chilllll and that applies to the both of you! lol internet arguments :) I didn't get to visit Stuart, but I surfed in Juno last week. There were some nice days actually!
Meunchkkleeerrr III1825 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I hear that!!! (although im a bit scared of ISC and her forward ways...)
Meunchkkleeerrr III1825 days ago -10 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
oi!!!!!! i heard that!
Mel in Florida1825 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
haba I know you were kidding, but I like Satta, and thought it'd fit in :D
junosurfer1835 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hey did you go up north today? it was pretty good til the wind changed and blew everything to shit but it was still fun...in the morning it was barrels everywhere.
junosurfer1836 days ago -13 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
oh boy you should have came up to staurt today it was amazing were i was...head to overhead glass with it all to ourselves pretty much... we got there at like 2 and it was reeli good you should have gone... its suppose to be pretty good tomarrow again head up there for sure
Coelacanth1837 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Hi Mel...The UK guys are busy surfing good waves over there today and are not online, so I'm biding my time right now...looking for someone online. Stuart WAS flat this AM...unbelievable but true...and it IS head high and crowded at breaks only ten miles north of Stuart (ie- Walton Rocks/The Nuke Plant, Blind Creek, Middle Cove). The tide is full high in less than one hour(~9:30AM)...but within an hour or two of that I expect it will start filling in here big time. And with the locals and others all up north, Stuart could get epic...and uncrowded...for a little while anyway. I'll be there by !0:00 AM. If you decide to go to Stuart, look for the gracefully aging(graybeard) guy with the dark blue hat(w. back flap), blue/orange board shorts, white-ish board(w. a black coelocanth along the front stringer area) and big grin on his face. Hopefully (keep hope ALIVE!)it will start getting good by then. We'll have fun. See ya!!!
soutie1801 days ago -9 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
to sumarise : look for the garden gnome
Coelacanth1801 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
How'd you know I was into gardening? When I'm stooped over pulling weeds and holding a trowel, that IS what I look like! Spooky!
junosurfer1837 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
WAVES TOMARROW!!!! are you going up north to catch the swell? its overhead at sebastion inlet
Coelacanth1846 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Hi Mel...There are waves on the way...starting Saturday morning. Keep doing that raindance anyway just to make sure.
Coelacanth1857 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
You started one thread under a Bluesnapper pic from New South Wales by saying 'purity'. The Vanity Project picked up on that by calling you a hillbilly, etc. About halfway down the thread you said "them wave sure is purty" and it still cracks me up. Perfect statement...perfect timing...best comment in the thread! I just now gave you a +1 for that. You are a funny young lady and a hidden jewel!
junosurfer1858 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
oo i was up at the peir for most the day it was pretty good in the morning... was good when u were there?
Coelacanth1859 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Hi Mel...Don't know if you've seen this news item regarding dolphins vs sharks but it's more bad news, I'm afraid. And I hate to be the bearer of bad news with my first ever message to you. You've sure kicked off some interesting strings on MSW lately though. Something to do while we wait for waves, right? Girl surfers are always welcome at Stuart Beach. http://www.pawnation.com/2009/07/30/sharks-kill-rehabilitated-dolphin/?icid=main|htmlws-main|dl2|link6|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pawnation.com%2F2009%2F07%2F30%2Fsharks-kill-rehabilitated-dolphin%2F
Dicer1860 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
more posts on here than on the whole of MSW! good work Mel in Florida (or is really Flawreeeda?!)
junosurfer1861 days ago -9 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hey you see what is coming for us the next few days i hope it stays though...dont wanna get my hopes up again...lol im joking
junosurfer1870 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
yo wats up? you gunna be surfing the madhouse pier this week...lol i wish the swell would have stayed the way it was it would have been sick!
solrac251873 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hey girl whats up did you see the little swell we are getting ^_^ we are finally getting some waves i cant wait surf untill i cant feel my arms any more :0 i usually surf on lake worth... hit me up if you wanna surf with me and my friends :)
DR GREENTHUMB1882 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Roxane!...You dont have to wear that dress to night.
junosurfer1884 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
yo i thought u said u were gunna do the raindance so we get waves what happen?
solrac251886 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hey, whats up this is carlos im a local on lake worth beach, just showing the love to a fellow surfer :) we pray for waves
soutie1893 days ago -14 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
getting beter?
junosurfer1899 days ago -9 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
yo wats up. haha i should have realized when you said that you hurt your rib but ya i didnt. im the kid that you were surfing with today over the pier. lol
mike (is boardchasing)1903 days ago +1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I don't know if you do but if you don't you should try sebastian inlet sometime, worth the drive for ya on a good day :)
junosurfer1904 days ago -10 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
lucky was nice like windy or was it choppy? eother way i wuld have killed to be in 4ft waves
junosurfer1907 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
yup i remember i was up at that day it was sick....i belive that wat the day with all the storms
junosurfer1911 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
lol im not reeli sure if i can say we know each other but we talked a few times because we surf the same break. when did you hurt your rib?? when the swell was like 6ft.
junosurfer1915 days ago -10 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hey dont worry bout having that rib problem we wont have another swell for a while unless we get a hurricane which im kinda praying for.
DonWon84201924 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Hey Beautiful. How was that last swell??
Mel in Florida1921 days ago -7 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I fractured my rib, so I can't surf for a month... :(
soutie1921 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
i was out for 5 weeks with that
DonWon84201911 days ago -10 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
No way!!!!!!! That really SUX!! So what did they give you for pain??
soutie1905 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
pain killers
the vanity project1905 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Or St John's wort (if you are a hippy....new profile name.. MEL IN TYE-DYE)
Mel in Florida1905 days ago -12 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hahaha!!! nice
soutie1935 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
how was your trip to hell? hot weather ? did you try the mouth, looks like a good spot. The bells would start to get on my tits after a while though.
Get Joggly1937 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Bring back Mel In Hell : )
DonWon84201939 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
My other boards are in Stuart and I gave my board to my bro to get it fixed. I broke the box out that holds the fins in it. I did a really fast tailslide and it rip it right of.
DonWon84201940 days ago -7 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
There's waves coming again soon. I broke a fin on my board doing a tailslide so I am bumming.
Meunchkkleeerrr III1939 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
bumming means something different in the uk and it AINT GOOD!!! (see the comment below about bullocks and bollocks....)
Sneakybadger 1789 days ago -14 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Haha. actually laughed out loud! "I broke a fin on my board doing a tailslide so I am bumming", could be interpreted as a strange reaction to braking a fin....:)
Meunchkkleeerrr III1940 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
bollocks = balls, BULLOCKS = boy cows (the ones wiht the horns) - i would probably try not to confuse them as it may result in hospitalisation!!!
DonWon84201945 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
What's up stranger? How have you been??
lbittle1947 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Hey, whats a good consistent spot in Jupiter?
junosurfer1954 days ago -7 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
yo wats up where you live in west palm??
RadXCor1962 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Florida Mel, Represent! It's going off this weekend! It was 7-8 at Playa Linda today!
Mel in Florida1962 days ago -11 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I just got back and it was about 7ft at juno, but a little choppy, supposed to be good tomorrow :D
RadXCor1959 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I've never been to Juno but I always here good things when the swell comes in. I like Spanish house a lot too. :)
soutie1966 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
i wish i was younger
DonWon84201967 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I wish you were older
surfh1967 days ago -7 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
what does lol mean?
DonWon84201967 days ago Unrated Rate Positive Rate Negative
Laugh out loud. Duh??????????
Mel in Florida1966 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Lol :)
DonWon84201967 days ago -16 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Your Awesome Mel. Why are u in Hell???
soutie1968 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
why not?
KILGORE1969 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Well spotted , the photographers name is Jim Patterson , try cut 'n'paste : http://www.flickr.com/photos/jimpatterson/sets/ or google him. The seaweed shot in question is from the Kelp , Big Sur sets. Happy hunting : )
Meunchkkleeerrr III1973 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
- 100000000000000000000000000000 haha! (its not even me doing it, but is hilarious!)
Keith Panini1973 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Definitely a rat, I saw the cat eating its head!
Danny Erie1973 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hey, you ever surf anywhere south of Juno?
Mel in Florida1973 days ago +34 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
No, I mean sometimes I go a little north (to the inlet), but I always stay at Juno
Mel in Florida1973 days ago -5 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
haha, well the inlet has a lot of first-time surfers there, but there are a lot of aggressive surfers in Juno (I have seen fights break out over waves) haha it's all good though So southbeach? Miami or ft.Lauderdale?
Danny Erie1973 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
i gotta hit up juno its one of the few spots i still need to check out. im in the ft lauderdale area.. all the breaks suck here, they dread all the beaches cuz its such a tourist area..
Mel in Florida1973 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
oh yea i know! I love Ft. lauderdale, because of the scenery though A couple weeks ago, the waves here were 6-7 ft. Perfect size for florida! :)
General Kook1974 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
LOL, its ok. i just thought it was appropriate as everything you say gets pummeled. bless
General Kook1974 days ago +23 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Mel in Hell keeps getting nailed for everything you say! I think everyone's jealous of you in boiling FLA. I visit yearly, I love it!
Mel in Florida1974 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
haha it's 85 degrees outside.. i don't think anyone is jealous of that! lol
Keith Panini1974 days ago +11 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Thats quite funny, only just noticed that you keep getting nailed with negative marks for everything you say!
Mel in Florida1974 days ago -3 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
lol I know!
AustinSpaceCoast1976 days ago +4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
where ya surf at in flo
Mel in Florida1976 days ago -13 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Juno, you?
Mel in Florida1973 days ago +28 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
yesh i juno you!
DonWon84201978 days ago +13 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
I keep reading your comments, so I wanted to say HELLO
Mel in Florida1978 days ago -6 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Heya! how are you? :)
Didier1978 days ago +33 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
Hi Mel FROM Florida! ;) hows things? still hot?
Mel in Florida1978 days ago +19 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
yes hot hot hot
Meunchkkleeerrr III1982 days ago +18 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hi hope florida is amazing! im not in florida, are you in flordia? is your name mel? not mel in floridiaaaa? no way!!!
Mel in Florida1982 days ago -2 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
F-L-O-R-I-D-A! lol stop confusing me!!!! :D
F L E T C H E R1986 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
hi mel my sister lives in florida and im from ecuador i love surfing too, here's my email if yopu can please add me to your msn so we can chat sometime take care moonlight_meditation@hotmail.com
Mel in Florida1985 days ago +9 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
sorry I don't have msn lol
Didier1987 days ago -1 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
*POP* Sorry where did you say you were from mel?
Mel in Florida1985 days ago -4 Rating Rate Positive Rate Negative
from ohio! lol jk